Some things about this fallenangel

According to my great grandmother i am an Old Soul. My spirit has been here a long time. I have a very strong connection to the spirit world. I see things that no one would ever want to see. Knock it if you want, everyone else thinks i am crazyu anyways. I can see spirits, and not only people i know. I have seen ghostly deaths countless times, i have seen the wraths tear people in half. No one ele can see them, no one i know. I can’t sleep, i haven’t slept for three days now. This will continue until i pass out and then when i wake up the visions will start again. MAybe if i talk about it it will slow, so if you have questions please ask. I’ll be happy to share. I have been contimplating suicide… i can’t take the things i see…everytime i close my eyes. I even know when people will die. I   have prophicetic dreams ( i dream the future). I have the same dream before some one dies. I am up in a tall tree, at the very top, in a swing. In the river below there are children playing, little girls in blue jean dresses ad little boys in overalls. Everything is so peaceful and i can hear the children laughing. All of a sudden the clouds darken, and the sky turns black. When i turn my eyes to the river, all the children are pointing up at me. Then i hear the snapping. The ropes holding the swing snap and i fall for a long time with the black fabric of my dress and my hair being snapped around in the wind. I always scream but i dont make a sound. I hit the water, feel a sharp pain in my neck, then feel nothing. As i slowly sink to the bottom of the river, the children gather around and stare down at me. i can see my hair drifting around my head but i cannot move. Up close i can see that the children look the same, identical to one another…because they all have the same colored eyes. and they begin to laugh. the last thing in the dream is the children laughing with their eyes wide open, laughing and not moving, staring down at me and the black slowly fades in. The part where i know who is going to die. In my family we have a tradition that when someone dies we make safety pin commemerative ribbons in their favorite color. The favorite color of the person who will die is the color diplayed in all of the childrens eyes. The scariest one was the first one i had when my great aunt died. her favorite color was white. Snow  white. Their eyes .. were just..dead. flat without emotion. PLease if you have questions, let me know.