I think my mother is depressed. She rarely talks and when she does it to complain or to yell about something that went wrong, even the littlest things cause arguments or crying fit. I don’t know what to do to help her feel better.
The other day she told me if she had the money and means of doing so she would leave her boyfriend. She doesn’t love him anymore, and I can see that. he’s always yelling at her or making her feel stupid and she still defends him, she says that it’s because he’s in pain and he has lower testosterone levels, and she says as soon as he get the medications he needs he’ll be better.
They have been together for almost three years now, and I have never cared for him, he’s always putting others down, and making others feel like they mean nothing. He’s even doing it to my mom. The only one he doesn’t treat this way is his eighteen year old some who is going to college yet still living at home. My mom can’t stand the boy, he cannot take care of himself and is a creep.
The other night I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and washing my face getting ready to go to sleep. I open the door and take one step out and the guy is standing there staring while drinking iced tea. Who does that?!
I’m tired of everything my moms boyfriend is putting me my mom and my thirteen year old brother through. He’s always putting us down, making my mom feel like she’s garbage always acusing her of cheating, and is always calling my brother a pig. And me? He told me I was good for nothing. The exact thing he said was “what is she good for? She does nothing!”
And that’s far from true, I do all I can to keep my self from going insane. I’m not allowed to leave the house and go out with friends because everytime my mom let’s me he decides to yell at her. I’m not his child ye he seems to think he has the right to put me down like my father did, and he thinks he has the right to say I cannot go out with fiends.
There is nothing I can do or say to him without him insulting me. I can’t even voice my opinion without him saying I’m stupid.I am sick of it! I want a life and I want my mom to be happy! I don’t want my little brother subjectedto this mans bullying. But there is no way out he owns the house we live in, he owns the car my mom drives. And I think he’s the reason my mom can’t get a job, I have a feelin he’s not putting a good word in for here as a reference.
What can I do when I have no control? How do I make sure my mom won’t get the blow when I snap and walk out? Because I can’t handle being in this house all the time. It’s going to drive me to bleed, that’s how it started, I like to be alone, but I hate isolation. I’m at the point that I need human interaction. And I’m not getting it. Every day, I go to school and come straight home, I don’t go anywhere! I don’t see people outside of school! What kind of senior year is that?!? I have options, I have people who wantto hang out with me, but my mom won’t let me go out. She won’t budge because she’s afraid of her boyfriend.
I’m so sick of not being able to do anything.
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4 comments
im sorry about your situation. it is depressing. i know it feels like theres no escape and that everyday feels like some sick dream you keep reliving. but dont give up. there are ways of surviving these ordeals. sadly patience is one of the factors for things to get better. but you mustn’t be discouraged. but escape is going to be necessary. i can say squatting is an adventure, but its not for everyone. maybe talking to a friends parents about letting you move in could help. i had a friend who would get raped by her dad and her mom knew and didnt care and would hit her on top of that, she could only go to school and she would get dropped off and picked up. but she at least knew me and a few others cause of class, and she told a friend and she told her parents and they basically liberated her. you just need to try there is always someone out there to help.
I’m in a new town, I don’t know anyone well enough to be able to stay with anyone. It’s not that I want to leave, it’s the fact that I news to get out of this house to see friends. I know I can’t just leave for good leaving behind my mom and brother. I’ve thought about running away everyday for the past year. College is too important to me for me to just disappear.
Thanks anyway.
then you need to convince your mother its time to make a change. if its financial reasons, there are always places to go for help. i know living in a shelter isnt ideal but theyre there to help. cash aid, EBT, as long as your mom has children, there will be alot more options. and if she is set on staying, and things get real out of hand, calling a government agency for help might not sound so ridiculous. running away doest mean no college. there is FAFSA, financial aid. just keep trying.
FYI, some of the best, smartest, greatest people I have known come from some crazy backgrounds. you sound like a very strong, compassionate and loyal person and these traits will help you throughout your life. If you can make it through all this, college will be a breeze in comparison!
I hope that your mother is able to get herself and your family out of this bad situation, if not, I agree that contacting a social worker, or at least a school guidance counselor, might not be a bad idea? I wish that teenagers in these situations had better options. I wish there was some “in between” from foster care to running away. It’s not like you want to go live with strangers, on the other hand running away is NOT safe. People will exploit and hurt you. Maybe there could be some kind of “emancipated minor” option. Good luck, keep your head up.