Everyday I wake up hoping it is the last day. Well wondering and thinking of ways to end it because I have lost all hope. I don’t know why I feel this way, I have no sad story to tell. I have it all. I am not dumb or really ugly I am Ok at what I do but I am not really good at anything. I am always in the middle I think it makes me more mad that I have no friends. No one bullies me or anything it’s just that I don’t like the people that want to be friends with me and the people that I want to be friends with are too crazy and would get me intO more trouble. I don’t know what to do. I want q gun but I can’t do that to my sister even though she insults me everyday. I am not pretty but I am not ugly. I don’t think I am that fat but all my “friends” are athletic so they tell me I’m fat. I play tennis but there are so many people better than me so I know I will never be anything good. I just want to die and I am unsure of the future because everyone in my family is a he genious and I am not. They went to harvrad and MIT and I don’t know how I’ll live up to it. I know I am selfish when people tell me things and I don’t care but I can’t help it I want to fix my problems before anyone else’s and people tell me rungs but then don’t follow through I just don know what’s wrong. I need a gun. Like now.
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5 comments
Self efficacy is an important part of stable mental health. You should find something that you enjoy and then work towards getting better at it. You don’t have to be the best, just do something that gives you room to improve. Even if your family members did all go to harvard and MIT or wherever, it doesn’t mean that you have to or should follow in their footsteps. Live up to your own standards.
You have an interesting name like my aliases named after famous racehorses.
No one is the best at everything. You suggest that your circumstances haven’t led you here but it’s obviously something that concerns you otherwise you wouldn’t have mentioned it. By the sounds of it, your no back number.
I don’t know whether you have ever heard of the racehorse Delegator. His finest hour was finishing second to the great Sea The Stars in the 2000 Guineas. Now, Delegator has never won a group 1 race despite a number of attempts so he is not considered top class. But despite what people say, he has earned a lot in place money so is still decent and really, he could have won the Guineas if born in another year.
Your the best at being you. That’s all that counts. Be confident in yourself; people find that attractive. I’m sure you will make friends but make sure they are kind and trustworthy.
I know what it is to want to stand out, specially if those around you shine really bright. I suffer from this torment. If I am not on the top I don’t want to live.
yes, I understand that but how can i develop my own stadards if all around mea re the hightest? what happens when i dont live up to them and everyone looks down on me?
my life is very similar. i dropped out of high school and work as a _____ which my family does not approve of and my sister went to college has a good job yadda yadda yadda. i am in not in good shape. i dont feel attractive but people dont say im ugly. dont be sad because you havnt yet developed the skills you wish to possess. keep on practicing. keep playing tennis. dont try to live up to other peoples standards because it will drive you crazy. dont be upset that they went to harvard or mit, hell harvard isnt even all that its cracked up to be. even missouri science and technology grads are more successful than those of harvard. live for you. your standards. not everyone elses.