Recently I’ve picked up a martial arts class. Originally I picked it up to be able to kick peoples asses properly for the day I predict I’ll snap. After a few classes, I’ve noticed how rough it all really is. My body hurt after every practice from the breakfalls and hits, but I liked that pain. Like right now my shoulders are dead and my tailbone is screaming with pain. But I like it. Not in a perverted way. It’s more like my old views towards cutting myself, it’s exhilarating. I’m thinking that if I keep at this class and come home every night with a new kind of pain, then my urges might go away because that need for pain will be filled. If it works then holy fuck, I’m going to also join capoiera. I think getting my ass kicked like this is good for me, plus I’m learning how to kick someone elses ass.