I wish I knew what happened to that cheerful, would-be artist of yesteryear. I’m always longing to return to the days when I felt the passion and joy of artistic creation. Painting fixed everything back then, now it feels like a chore. I hardly draw anymore and even my recent fascination with writing is fading away. The bad days are beginning to outnumber the good, but I’m too scared to end it all. I’m not a good person, but I want to change. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to change! I hate myself and I don’t know why, but I can’t make it stop and it’s tearing me apart. I’m going to start volunteering, maybe that’ll rekindle my will to live. I’m sick and tired of feeling so empty and worthless, it’s wearing me out.
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5 comments
Sounds like a paradigm case of depression. When you’re in this state of mind everything seems bleek, irrespective of weather or not you’d otherwise enjoy it. Volunteering sounds good, shine some light inside yourself so you can see the things you used to strive for.
Bleak indeed. I should’ve started volunteering as soon as I started feeling useless. I didn’t, though, and the negativity just kept getting worse as the months went by. Now, it almost feels like negativity is an intrinsic part of my personality and it’s really hard not to be negative all the time.
Find a G.P a D.R say how your feelin.
I think the best things to do in cases like this are: set goals,surround yourself with positive things and people, take things slowly and steadily, and don’t let your expectations excede what’s feasible. Get out of the hole now before you fall to deep.
Yeah, volunteering should hopefully be the first step towards bettering myself. It’s nothing drastic, probably a few hours a week at the local animal shelter. I’m also trying to write and draw every now and then. Even when I’m not really enjoying it, it’s still nice to be doing something productive.