No reason to go on…

I feel very similarly and have recently found it difficult to push away the temptation of suicide. I’m 25 and have never, ever, except for maybe one year in college, had any real close friends who I knew were friends because they actively chose to hang out with me. Anywhere I go, any new endeavors I try, I feel I always come off as cordial and kind, but then when everyone else starts getting very close, I always find myself pushed aside, ignored, or merely treated just the same as always…kindly, but not as a close friend. There is no getting close, though I desperately long for it… desperately. I am always, always alone.

I, too, have always put 100% of my effort into school. I was always pretty good at it, but It took me longer to complete assignments than other people, and I feel as though I think about things so much it’s hard to translate my ideas to paper. Probably why I became an educator since school was all I knew in life.

Anyway, I know it’s like the blind leading the blind, but hopefully you can know that there are other people out there like you, and we understand…