hello. it has been so long since i have even been one here. since april actually. but i decided to come back on.
i feel done with life. im not living anymore. im just the walking dead, like a zombie. literally. i cant concentrate on anything. and ill probably be made to go to rehab soon because i couldnt stop smoking weed. well i dont really care. im planning on killing myself before that happens. i know for a fact that i can never be happy again. thats just never gonna happen. im just completely done. i dont even want to be around my best friend because i dont feel like living. its too hard for me to keep going. what i do want to do is post my poems that ive written. theyre not very good, but i want to share them with people. i go back and forth on weather to tell someone about my problems though. though i dont think i have the strength to do so. so i am just better off killing myself. i feel that people suffer for my actions and should need to any longer. ive lived for 17 and a half years, and that is already too much. im a failure. i cant even drive because i failed school!
if you actually want to read my poems, please tell me, because if no one will read them, whats the point of posting them. well maybe i should. i will forsure make more post then. but not at this very moment. i have some things i need to take care of first. but it will most likely be today. i hope.
well, thanks for reading. xoxo
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
10 comments
rehab for weed? i been to rehab when i was just smoking weed. court ordered, but yea its a joke. maybe heroin, it’ll make you happy for a while. even give you a reason to live (i didnt say a good one) and then you’ll have an excuse to go to rehab. many writers, poets, philosophers, artist, and musicians experimented with opiates/opioids which expanded their minds and opened their hearts. i know when i was a junkie i was never sad.
right? its retarded to go to rehab for weed. i think thats the stupidest thing ever. and ive tried opiates, ive done codeine, oxy, vicodin, and i felt amazing. i felt alive. but the people who want to send me to rahab dont even know that. and the only reason i have to go is because i was arrested with weed a few times. and since im underage they have to do something. there are many more people who would want to go to rehab to actually get better, and have strong addictions, and they send a stoner chick.
haha man its like looking into a mirror. i was a hardcore addict and i quit on my own. then i get busted and yea, weed. heroin is like oxy, just waaaaaaaaaaaaay waaay cheaper and juuuuuust as delicious. plus withdrawals are less severe. ive had fentanyl withdrawals…. lemme tell you… i wish i had died then haha. DONT DO IT, coming from an ex heroin addict. it sucks cause in rehab youre all “im ___ and im addicted to weed” thats how i would say it. i never told anyone in rehab my true story. i just said i only smoked weed so they wouldnt bug me.
Please, post the poems. I’ll read them.
ahaha. thats smart to do. and ill sure keep that in mind newdawnfades. i will post them. i just need to find my notebook first. thank you.
yeah it was cause i was fortunate enough to get a prescription while i was in there and i know if i was like “yeah i pop pills and chase the dragon” they wouldnt have ever let me take my vics. i was like “i got hurt so they prescribed me these pills, can i take them or are they bad drugs?” and they were like “well we dont normally let people take these while in rehab, but they arent your drug of choice so, ok.” shit i popped the whole supply when they said it was ok. the only day i got high in rehab. so keep in mind not to tell too much… you know why the fish got caught? cause it opened its mouth.
i wish i was prescribed something. anything. even benzos. ive even considered breaking my leg or something so i could haha. stupid i know, i dont even think they would prescribe me opiates for breaking a leg. and the last part about the fish made me LOL!
oooh on the benzos…. big no no. they dont feel as good as opiates/opioids and the withdrawals last for months believe it or not. dont break a leg… you are too young for any doctor to want to prescribe you anything other then T3’s (tylenol with codeine,weeeeak) so just forget the doctor. im actually a Clandestine Chemist so if you seek to find opiates Email me and ill let you know how to get some yum yums at the supermarket. yup thats hood talk where im from. snitches lay in ditches where im from. not that weak snitches get stitches shit.
whats your email? im so down for it.
✋ Loves poems, put them up!