I have thought andÂ battled trust me, I have got myself out of some really downward states. the thing is though I cant change my life, my external life, Ive changed my internal one but my external one remains empty. I struggle to accept that whileÂ I am good looking/ wise/ good hearted/ fun (if im in the right mood) my looks and whoÂ I am just means nothing to the majority of women. I guess my problem is in my empty life thatÂ I have come to rely on dating sites instead of real life.
Im 34 , good looking and the only woman who seems into me at the moment online is a 45 year old thatÂ I dont fancy. All the others trash you so easilyÂ because they haveÂ alot of options, its all about the quality of your message and Ive got a brainÂ disorder and dont always wright good ones. Ive also got a twisted personality thats become twisted because whenÂ I was in a real down bad way it workedÂ against me, so maybe I am counteracting it and thats working against me too, womenÂ have such anÂ advantage and itÂ does piss me off. I guess Im inÂ a position because of my empty life where I probably want/need it too much which also works against me. added that to the fact women work against you aswell because its all about them and you get the almost zero chance that ive been battleing against for ages. I think alot of men are inÂ a similar possition, some guys make a killing on online dating but they are generally the ones good at playing them and saying the right things and who have good lives and probably money.
For the last 4 years Ive had a really low quality of life which is ever sinceÂ I broke up with my ex andÂ she put me throughÂ living hell. I got extremely hurt by her because the hell went on for a few months with her rediculing and rejecting and laughing and sleeping with other guysÂ almost infront of meÂ andÂ I was so wounded inside that I couldnt show my real self to people. thenÂ I spent 4 years on the dating site and no matter what Id do, funny profiles, profiles with wisdom,Â little profiles, big profiles, the results were still pretty much nothing. this has led to me doing insulting profiles and insutling women but to be honest most of it is true. They dont want you for you, they want you for either your money or theyÂ Â want you for what you do to them withÂ your words, its almost as if they are glove puppets and you have toÂ pull there strings! Like they are royalty and we have to bow down and give themÂ what they want inÂ order to get somewhere and im crap at doing that, then they say they dont want players but they create players by needing toÂ be played! ImÂ not insulting the women on here, you are probably far better than the ones on dating sites inÂ my area who look good just because they pose like wankers (which is what they basically are) and gain off us (men ) having the eyes to see them as beautiful, which theyÂ dont return to us and there is the gap right there, theres the advantage they have. what we give and what theyÂ dont. what we see and what they fail to. Â Ive learnt that guys are just as good looking as women as Im a bit bi when it comes to pornography lol our bodys are just asÂ good lookingÂ as theres ,Â I so wish they would see it. they’d then start desireing us for us intead of how we make themÂ feel with our words and ways. I know most women say they dont want to be wanted just sexually and look down on it but thats the very reason why you have an advantage in dating -Â sex appeal. Â If we didnt fancy you for that then we’d probably be just as selfish as alot of women. SitÂ back and need you to do something, because if you dont your just a nothing. I do believe that things are beautiful andÂ I believeÂ both gendersÂ have a beautyÂ in both there ownÂ ways, but I also think that you need to be looking throughÂ good seeing Â eyes to see it,Â many women inÂ Â my area have absolutely nothing to give and its very hurtful to be seeing beauty inÂ women Â and desireing them and having them constantlyÂ not do it back, its very hurtful to be thrown on the scrap after a mistake in your messages time and time again.Â Women dont have this problem. they are released from alot of hurtful and rejecting things that wouldÂ put them in a position of having to tread carefully because of us I would say and the whole advantage thing. ( this is a generalization by the way) the amount of girls Ive just looked at and thought yeahÂ IÂ could love her , Id like to. but can they love me? do they want me? allÂ I am is a message and my messages arent always thatÂ good . Give a good one get a good responce cos you made em laugh and then send another which doesnt and they dont reply again. sometimes you send a good message and there so cuntish that they dont even look at your profile. I just fucking want to get a relationship so i can fuck this whole thing off, Im s ick of being alone in an empty life its killing me, ive already died twice so nothing new there.Â 4 years being available and no one wanting you is a bit hard to take. even if they do temporarilyÂ like some have, theyÂ are usually not the ones Id want but Ive dropped my standards so much to see beauty in girlsÂ I probably didnt use to, but likeÂ I say get chatting to a girl, build up a raport, and all it takes is saying one thing they dont like which because Im fucked up andÂ in a bad possition it happensÂ with me and thats it. I mean thats wank isnt it? negative things just hit there head like a bulldozer and they’re the bull.
They want confident men but they arent good for our confidence. They say they want honest men but any bad truth is enough to get them running. they say theyÂ dont want players but they need to be played. they say they want a decent bloke whichÂ usually means doesnt want sex,Â or really doesnt show that they do., ofcourse men want sex! we wouldnt be men if we didnt!
With women its all about already having one or just breaking up from having one,Â because then you are more fullfilled, and so its like sharks in the water. hungry start to fall,Â eaten eat again.Â I aint really much of a shark butÂ I have developed a bite. bite bite gone bite bite gone, Its fucking rediculous andÂ I need to come up from this war zone ofÂ an ocean and get some air!