Hi
I last posted about a year ago. I was confused, my life sucked, I hated my job, and who I was, but I still had an awesome girl who loved me, and kept me going. I managed to pick myself up, got a new job which I actually enjoyed and was good at. I had plans to be happier, she helped me through it. In keeping her happy, in living for her, I was happy. Now however, that has all changed.
A couple of months ago, she left me for someone else, weeks after I had blown my entire paycheck on her birthday. My life spiraled into chaos. I had no idea what to do. I kept messing up at work, and am now pretty sure I’m about to be fired next week. This is killing me. I hate myself for messing up at work, I hate myself for losing her, for losing our dreams of the future, of losing her family. I just want to stop struggling. I want to stop waking up every morning and forcing myself to exist. I just want it all to end.
I know that everything that has happened to me is my own fault. I brought it all upon myself, and that’s why I feel as though my only option is suicide. A life without all my dreams, all our dreams, just doesn’t seem worth it.
1 comment
Hey, please just STOP ! You keep thinking you are the problem, I don’t know you but I’m pretty sure you’re not! Your life sucks, you hate your job well guess what me too and that’s ok cause you can change those things! You just need to focus on whatever is important to you, don’t waste your time pitying yourself it won’t get you anywhere. As for the girl who left you for someone else, it’s not the end of the world, love can be lost and found again. Stop hating on yourself so much it won’t do you any good, GET UP ! WAKE UP ! I’m sure you can do it you just gotta think i come first … your happiness comes first so do whatever it takes to get better and no suicide is NOT your only option it will never be your only option trust me …