Feeling empty and Hopeless

Saturday night I went to the homecoming dance I decided to go because I thought that it’d be nice to go out since I’d spent the whole day doing nothing but sleeping, once I got there I felt out of place because I showed up alone and just greeted people  I started dancing by myself trying to make it a good night and there was times where I caught myself feeling sad and sat down because I just didn’t feel like being up there  and had no interest but I did dance most of the time and even requested a few songs so I can say it wasn’t an awful night because I did try to go out. When I got home, I thought about how everyone there was happy and having a good time and how in their everyday lives they must be content with their lives and I have no interest in anything because I get frustrated when I mess up doing activities, I usually come up with a list of things that I say I want to do but end up not doing at the end of the day and if I do then I get frustrated with how I did it, so I’ve decided to do it only when I feel like it so I don’t force myself . So far this week I can say I feel a bit more empty and have been going through the week not giving much effort and I got so over-whelmed and having been crying out of no where. The good thing I can say about the week so far is that I like someone for a while since the beginning of school he’s in my science class, it’s a strange experience for me because I have depression and I generally tend to isolate so it’s weird for to want to be near someone. Life really is short, you could go through life and end up regretting and feeling empty or live a full life, thinking about my own life makes me sad because I haven’t found any meaning in mine or something that makes me feel alive, it’s funny how you could see someone everyday but never truly know how they feel kind like how I move through motions everyday and nobody would ever know that I’m depressed.