I feel… dirty. All of my friends call me innocent but they don’t understand. They rely on me to help them through their issues and I always try but how am I supposed to help them if I can’t even help myself? I have… family issues. When I was about three, my family adopted four kids: Amanda, Jason, Jacob, and Anthony. Anthony would undress me and I’d always be to week and scared to stop him. He would sneak into my room at night and pin me down. He did this for more than half of my life. If it weren’t for my parents, he would’ve done it for even longer. A couple of years after he stopped, my parents got divorced. My mom had custody of us and we’d go to our dads house every other weekend. One night, (when I was at my dads house for the weekend) Anthony came into my room and did it again. I screamed. My dad called the cops and they interrogated Anthony. Nothing happened to him. He didn’t even get a warning, He did, however, somehow gain respect from Amanda and Jason and was (and still is) considered as a hero to them. After that, Anthony became worse. Every day, I feared for my life. Anthony would constantly bully me and he made me lose all of my friends. He also managed to get the kids at school to join him in bullying me. Anthony would constantly run away. My mom would always call the cops and he’d just be let off the hook and sometimes even rewarded! The cops ended up all liking Anthony and would carry a casual conversation with him every time they brought him back. One day, Anthony ran away and was gone for a couple of days. We searched for him but we couldn’t find him. When we finally found him, he was put in a mental hospital. Anthony knows that he was put in because of me. He’s escaped THREE times. Everytime he escapes, he heads towards where we live. I’m afraid that one day he’ll get here and he’ll get me. As if that isn’t bad enough, my parents hate each other. My dad took my mom to court multiple time to receive custody of us. My dad lost. Whenever we’d visit my dad, he’d always try to convince us to live with him. My little brother, Jacob, that means the world to me ended up going with him. I didn’t even consider it because of my step-mom who hates me because I’m not Mexican. Honestly, life has just been difficult. I hate myself for complaining when so many people have worse but I also need a shoulder to cry on. I’m sorry for boring all of you with my complaining but I need someone to talk to that understands and could tell me what I should do. Will any of you help me?
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I know about a girl with a very similar story to yours but years later found the courage to report her cousin to the police. The jury took less than 30 minutes to convict him and he is now serving a very long sentence of imprisonment.
Maybe you should tell a counsellor what is going on and what has happened to you. They will be able to put you on the right track. As long as the right people know, they can do something about it.
Thanks. I appreciate the advice.
You have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about. None of this is your fault at all. You have to start speaking out because it’s the only way that your current situation can improve and that you can put the past behind you. Its difficult to tell people and find someone you trust. Some people talk to their teachers, doctors etc. There are safety measures that can be put in place. You have options available, they are just difficult and in the short term might seem like they are making things worse. Don’t despair.
I love this site, I can find strong people like you and I understand that maybe someday I could be as brave as you. Be calm, don’t feel guilty or dirty. I have to say that you impress me, you keep the calm and you’re still here. If you want, I can listen you and try to give you some advice. By now, try to use talking. Talk to your parents and step-mother. Talk to her and try to convince her that no matter your nationality, you’re almost her daughter and you would appreciate her help. If you feel unsafe (this may sound ridiculous) you can keep something with you that can protect you, when you go out or something, like a bottle with pepper spray.
Thank you! I really don’t consider myself strong but I’m trying and trust me, I’ve considered the pepper spray multiple times.
Let me start off by saying, Honey, don’t you ever feel bad for complaining. Second, it’s nit complaining. You are just letting the people around you know that you have been wronged. To top it all off, you are letting you other siblings know that this kind of behavior is not okay and therefore keeping them from going down a path that could destroy their lives. You are a very strong person to be handling this in the way that you are. I’m new to this site so i don’t know if it’s possible but if it is, drop me a message or something if you want to talk. Really. Please. The world needs people like you; those with god hearts. We can’t stand to lose anymore just because some jerk took advantage of them.