so, first off im happy today:) (but its night so that will change im sure.) but one thing is really annoying me and probably always will cause i will never understand what goes thru my friend’s mind.
he says his life will go dark without me (saying i die) cuz im his best friend and he has no one else..? ok cool. understand that. he says im amazig and the bestest friend ever? i dont believe it cuz i have proof im not: first, im not that nice i complain and get depressed and hes the ONLY one i talk to when i consider suicide which makes him freak out (um, im a *****?) second, he has cut a few times….BECAUSE OF ME!!! :'( (yeah that guilt will carry on forever til i die.) third, i NEVER shut up! which he seems fine with but he dont tell me nothing it seems to always be bout me..(wich i feel bad about cuz i dont wanna feel like i wont let him speak) see?? yet even with all this he still seems to think im just so amazing and without me hed be lost…HOW HOW HOW? honestly devin? i wont die right now. but i WILL NEVER SEE WHAT YOU SEE ABOUT ME.
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Hey.
I get what you mean. I feel like this all the time. Like I’m so annoying and no one should like me. For my whole life I felt useless and hated. My dad and boys hurt me. My mom and friends did too.
A year ago I met a guy. Since then everything has changed. He met me at my worst. He’s seen me through the worst year of my life. The year in which my brother got epilepsy, I’ve been pretty much chronically ill, my grandpa went missing, I was suicidal, my friend tore me apart, and my mom got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. He’s seen me at my ugliest, my sickest, my most broken and awful. And he loves me. And I’m finally learning to accept that.
Your friend loves you because you are you. I know that sounds cheesy. But he does. If he did, he wouldn’t stick around.
He cut because of you? I know it sucks. I’ve had a guy cut because of me. I felt so guilty. But in the end, it just proves even more that he really does love you.
Hang in there.
Sometimes it’s hard for us to see in ourselves what our friends do. Believe me I know. I don’t see why the good friends I have stay around me, and keep supporting me, but they do. Friends don’t give up on each other, and they help each other no matter the burden. Friends aren’t the numbers you put up on FaceBook; it’s the people who consistently care and help and laugh and cry with you. Hang in there.