Im not sure if this is the right place or time for this but here we go:
For the past years ive been struggling with my sexuality. Its literally been eating me alive since I finally realized that I was different from most guys. It consistently brings me down in a sense that the people that i love and surround myself with truly do not love me, but the shell i expose. Ive been able to calm my nerves for what seems like forever but as i enter college ive been exposed to new struggles that i honestly cannot deal with anymore. I cannot come out. My best friend is “sickened” by gay people. My dad jokingly wishes all “fags” should be lined up and given the electric chair. They have no clue that their son and best friend is a homosexual. And worst of all my faith in God is nearly destroyed. I am a sinner, an abomination and the only thing that has prevented me from killing myself is the fact that i will serve in eternal damnation for taking my life. I have no idea what to do and honestly writing about it seemed to be the best way to calm down. As long as im hidden i should survive unhappily, but if it happens to come out that im gay, and im rejected for my sexuality, there is no hope for me.
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I don’t believe the bible says anything that would condemn homosexuality, but even if it did, if you believe your God to be benevolent, then you should have confidence that you’d suffer no such fate for being disposed towards males. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with any sort of aberent sexual orientation, and no argument has ever been given to suggest the contrary.
You have nothing to be ashamed of. What you are is not defined by your sexual proclivites but by your character and actions. You’ll no sooner be condemed to hell for being homosexual than you will for liking cocout flavoured ice cream.
first of all there is nothing wrong with being homosexual, your born that way and nothing can change it, second god shapes people in his image he made you this way since you were born that way and therefore you are not a sinner since he obviously made you that way.
The bible blatantly declares war against homosexuality and black people. I see nothing wrong with the christian faith, but there are some things you have to ignore about the bible to remain sane.
There is nothing wrong with being gay. and your young now, your friends and father might no know for a long time, there may already be people who have guessed as well.
you may just have to wait for the best time to tell the world, but you will have to. and it may be the best thing you ever do 🙂
Also, fear not hell, for you have not sinned. I’m no christian but I beleive the faith makes it obvious that only bad people go to hell, and you dont seem bad at all 😛
And you say people like the ‘image’ that you put up to hide yourself. but it was an image you had before you decided your sexuality, remember that. there will always be people who see you differently, but it may just be best to surround yourself with people who support who you really are first before you make any rash decisions 😛
thank you so much. even though the comments and views made by my friends and family would seem like they havent any clue that im gay, i honestly hope their is some suspicion. im still uncertain of my fate and i feel like ive built up so much fear in religion to change my opinions of faith but i guess only time will tell.
i want you to know that the bible was written by jesus but by his followers and they added what thet wanted in with his words and teachings, in islam muhammid said to respect women as they are our equals however no one follows that rule in the middle east as you can see. your a good person and do what your heart tells you and you will go to heaven because what your heart tells you is gods will and it’s the path your meant to take and your life to live and think everday your not happy your not doing gods will
it would seem to me that the pain you feel, the sadness and the frustrations are not of your own doing, but rather they are symptoms of hatred… a disease which constantly plagues us from the outside, and slowly infects us from within.
suffering the symptoms will only serve to spread the disease. in other words, try being the you who you wish to be. it’s likely that you will still lose much of what you love, but in being true to yourself, you will stand to gain so much more.
as for you and god, that i feel is a path only you can discover. your religion is not really of importance. i would say that it’s your faith that matters. historically it stands to conclude that religion, hatred and control seem to be deeply interconnected. however, love, acceptance and freedom are traits of personal convictions. and values.
whatever you choose, be sure you are doing it for the right reasons… your OWN reasons.