Just so you know..

I came across this website randomly browsing the internet. I couldn’t help but get caught up reading some of these stories. I couldn’t help but feel the need to share mine. I can relate to a lot of your stories. The family problems, being made fun of, not wanting to live, etc. I grew up in an abusive home. My father used to beat me up everyday. Up until the day he walked out when I was fourteen. Not only did he beat me up, he beat my mother up in front of me, he beat my sister up..until the day when he became sexually attracted to her. He fell in love with his own daughter, while hating me for not being as beautiful as her. He told her to hate me because I wasn’t good enough to love. He didn’t want me to have friends, so he would call my school and tell them that I could not be involved in group projects. He used to make me wear big glasses, cover my hair and if it wasn’t covered I couldn’t brush it. He would not let me brush my teeth or wear deodorant. He did not want me to be loved. Once, I remember asking him if he loved me, he said, “Your mother is a queen, your sister is a princess, and I had you to be my slave”. I wanted to die. That form of rejection was brutal. Not only did my own father not love me, my mother didn’t stand up for me, my sister was raised to hate me, and I had no friends because I was ugly..or at least forced to be ugly. I spent my entire childhood wondering if anyone would ever love me. I read books all day, imprisoned in a room that only held me and dreams. But my dreams are what kept me ALIVE. I believed in something. That’s all you need. After my father left, he never looked back. Told everyone he never had a family and remarried another woman who is probably just as imprisoned as me, my mother, and sister were. I spent so much time looking for acceptance that I neglected to accept myself. After my father left, my sister started beating me up. I started running away from home, I was homeless for at least two weeks at a time until the police would bring me back home. Regardless of everything, I kept telling myself that everything would one day be okay. And now, at 26 years old, everything is okay. I followed my dreams. I did everything that I could to make them happen and because I had the willpower, I made them happen. At 26, I have two jobs, one as an office manager at a doctors office, the other as a wedding dress designer. I’m also writing a book about my life and I spend everyday working to inspire people. I have my own car, my own place, and the greatest friends in the world. I am loved because I love myself. I love myself because I did everything I needed to do to make my life better. Life can change in an instant. You have to have hope in that next instant. If you find that it’s not going fast enough, make it. Find out what you love to do and do it. Don’t worry about the people who don’t accept you. I used to go to school and walk into the lunchroom, kids would put bookbags down so that I couldn’t sit next to them. I spent a lot of my teen years crying and eating lunch in the bathroom. Now, all those kids who made fun of me found me on facebook and apologized for treating me that way. Why? Because LIFE GOES ON. There will come a time in life where none of it matters. You will be so much higher than the point you are at now, but you have to ALLOW yourself to get there. Stop thinking negatively and start letting positive thoughts run your life. It isn’t easy, but it’s not supposed to be easy. Tough times build you. They give you character. Find a role model and believe in that person. Mine was Muhammad Ali. He made me believe that greatness was possible. I believed it and recognized it on my own. Greatness is a state of mind. You are powerful, but you won’t feel powerful until you let yourself. Right now, in this instant, nobody matters but you. Your happiness. Tomorrow is a gift and if you reject gifts, you don’t get to appreciate the beauty of them. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. How can anyone believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself? How can anyone truly love you if you don’t love yourself? Work on that first and I promise you, everything will fall into place. If you need advice or someone to talk to, I can be reached at egypt.inspires@gmail.com or twitter.com/_egypt_