A girl at work made me listen to the voicemail that her husband left her right after he slit his throat in a suicide attempt. I was shocked at the time but now that I’ve had time to process, I cannot stop thinking about it. I am extremely upset. I have attempted suicide once and no matter how happy I feel like I am on the path to becoming, always return to thoughts of worthlessness, uselessness, etc. I am just falling back into a dark place right now and was hoping to maybe at least hear from someone who understands.
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I know what u mean. I too try and deal with the constant bombardment of suicidal thoughts despite its being a bright and sunny day out, and regardless of how my life is moving in the right direction ( probably momentarly). I try to laugh as much as possible.to.help me.get over the hump……good.luck
Why did your coworker do this?? Does she know about your own struggle with being suicidal? What an awful thing to do–to make someone else listen to that moment.
What happened to the husband and why did he make that phone call? Was he looking for help or was it an angry call? So sorry that you hear it.
I relate too to your being bombarded with those thoughts–sometimes I can’t even make myself go to sleep or do anything if it is not killing myself…the only way I can do it is to remind myself that I need to be reasonably coherent to be able to finish the job.
Thank you for the responses. She doesn’t know me at all – we have only worked together a handful of times. In the message, he was sobbing and gasping for breath. He sounded like he was dying. It was a message full of sorrow and regrets; he was begging her to call him so that he could hear her voice one last time. The message itself was incredibly jarring, but her reaction to it (she didn’t seem saddened, concerned, or anything except jaded and perhaps even amused) was what also upset me. It was a reminder of what I am constantly trying to forget – how pointless and fleeting life is, and how little it means when it ends. The man’s mother found him and rushed him to the hospital, and he survived. I have never met him and never even seen a picture of him, but that message changed much for me and immediately took me back to a place that I have been trying to get away from.
Maybe you can be there for your co-worker in what must be a difficult time; through this finding a way to overcome your own problems too.
Yes, Holly, life is indeed for the living and it goes on, regardless. I don’t actually think that life is pointless, despite my conviction that I must end my life. I do think that it’s absurd, but one can create meaning even if it’s just to make someone else laugh or to leave the world slightly better than the way we found it.