Rapidly spiraling
down,
down,
always downward.
Never up.
Envisioning in my mind
of blood running down my arm
my face
my stomach
my legs & ankles.
Feelings of nothingness.
Wanting to cry, throw up,
and turn away with guilt and regret.
Suicidal Tendencies come forth,
beckoning and pushing me away
from the temporary refuge
I had inexplicably found in dreams.
Regrets pile up around me
little post-it notes on the walls
covered in despair and insanity.
Incomprehensible thoughts running through my head
screaming in agony I bleed
scarlet rivulets create a river of inconsistencies.
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3 comments
Also(as a side note and somewhat unrelated but definitely hgklehge topic) Dad’s trying to force me to apply for a job once every week. I WON’T do it. I don’t NEED a job, I don’t WANT one, and there’s also NO REASON for me to get a job.
I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for you on here. If you are no longer in education then getting a job might be productive. It will also mean that you have more money to spend on cool stuff. If you intend to focus on your education then that might be something that you should explain to him. As for applying for one job a week, if you are that worried about it, I think the odds of getting a one that way are slim. You have to send out hundreds of appications a week.
I’m still in school, but not particularly focused on it. Only psychology and sign language. I don’t have any use for money, since I’m extremely reclusive and an introvert. I also don’t buy anything. I just kind of end up with stuff. People tend to randomly give me free stuff. idk why. but I still have no use for a job. Especially since I’m in drama club after school about every day until 5:30. except for days we don’t have school(like tomorrow and Friday). Bleh. I just get really sensitive about that topic. Same with when most people ask me questions, of any sort. idk why really. probably something to do with all sorts of shit called my past, present, and likely future.