Really sad

And no idea how to change it. Is it wrong that I come here to feel normal? To feel like I actually belong? No one wants to know me in real life, unless they need me to do something, or want sex! Apparently it’s one of the few things I do well 🙁 in the last 2 weeks I’ve slept with 2 different guys, one of whom has a girlfriend of 2 years, I’ve fancied him for ages and really thought that would be the turning point, he’d actually see me and be with me. But of course not, I’m not good enough for that! So to,get over that I sleep with another guy. And all it’s done is left me feeling like a slut. Why do I need that kind of validation? Like my looks are the be all and end all? Though maybe that cause, with no friends and no boyfriend, my personality can’t exactly be winning!!! I guess I’m just willing to do whatever I can to get a bit of company and not be so completely alone. Is that so wrong? Ha, guess if it wasn’t I wouldn’t feel this bad about it! When you’re completely alone, would it really be so bad to end it? Is that enough of a reason? Or a good enough reason to Ewan’s to die? I really don’t know!