i always wanted to know what it feels like to get a knife threw you  but like i cant put a knife threw myself by myself i dont know whyy but i just cant do it im to scared of whats on the other side if you know what i mean thats why im just waiting for someone to do it for me i love fights getting into them is amazing feeling i think i just like the pain that comes from it but who knows everytime i close my eyes i just get this dream where im fighting some chick and going all out too then she pulls a knife on me but i dont notice it inside my ribs i jsut keep hitting her and hitting her untill my friend pulls me off then i see the knife i fall down and just lay there with everyone watching me talking to me trying to help then something happens they tell me something heart breaking bbut its different everytime then i start crying and jsut die like that with a broken heart i dont know why i keep dreaming this??