When I look in the mirror, all that I can see is emptiness inside of me and I ask myself…
Who am I?
On the outside it seems to clear.. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend…but who am I?
Every morning when I awake, I tell myself it is time to put on a show..don’t want no one to know, what I feel when I am alone. I can’t let them see the tears I cry.. As keep all my fears hidden deep inside..
I tell myself; I do not know how much more I can take before this life I choose to forsake..
It seems to easy to just end it with pills or a knife..
But I am finding it harder to pretend each day.. trying to convince myself everything will be ohkay .. I tell myself that I can’t quit.. that I need to stay strong.. that for them I need to hang on..
As I cry myself to sleep.. I pray for an end to this sorrow.. hopeful for a better tomorrow..
14 comments
I am a 37 year old male, who lives in Winston-Salem, NC. I am a personal trainer/ boxing coach and the author of a novel that was published last year. I have every reason to be happy. I have mastered the art of appearing “successful”. But that’s just it. It’s all a facade. Life seems meaningless and I know why, but I’m helpless to do anything about it. Your story seems similar is some ways to mine. My name is Derek and I would be honored to call you my friend.
@Nolentwohundred, may I ask why your life seems meaningless and why you are impotent to the situation?
N, well hello friend…
Black Sawn, Hii.
@ Nobodyy, Hi Sweetie, cute pix 🙂
Black Swan, ya’ think so?..
Everyday can be a struggle to answer this question. Most of the time I find myself too busy being who other people need me to be, or doing things I “have to” do, to know my own “who, what, where, when and why”
I don’t like to dwell too much on ME in my own life, either out of some crackpot idea that it’s selfish to think of those things, or because I fear what the answers might be. What if I find something I don’t like………
Take those moments, the only ones you’ll ever have – the NOWs, that life consists of – to re-learn who you are. Every moment you live, has an effect on the choices you make down the road. You are new, mentally every moment of the day. You CAN BE, whoever you want to, because your story is defined by the choices you make. NOTE: I did not say that YOU are defined by the choices that you make. YOU will BE. As strange as that sounds, think a moment.
-you are not your past – nor your future
-you are not what you have – or how you use it
-you are not your thoughts – or your actions
YOU ARE. You will continue to exist if you stop the voice in your head that convinces you that it is you (movie reference: Revolver) You will continue to exist if you push aside “how you feel” and experience the space around you.
And fun fact: you are new physically every 7 years… Every cell in your body has been replaced over a 7 year period (which is why some people develop allergies and the like out of nowhere…)
SO. Worry not about the past or the future, what you have, or what you think, take a moment each day, and experience it. If you can’t find joy in it, you will at least have an oasis of contentment… I’ve done it, in my own version of hell. It helped me take bigger steps..
Sorry for the hostile takeover of your post….
Yes, I had commented on the first one you put up. You look pretty, smart and original.
Have you ever answered that question, ‘who am I’?
Yah, I have….
I’m
A
Noodyy
hello nobody
Hello, a-friend.
🙁 Jez…. I’m sorry you still feel that way…
You’re not a noodyy
You’re not a nobodyy
You’re still here
You’re still fighting
You’re Jez
And you’re amazing
It’s ohhkay, COA.
Thanks, Quiet….