why me?

everyday its getting worse. ic an’t even try to be that happy,laughable girl i was years ago,because i am not anymore im letting my self fall into this deep hole and im really scare.  i keep on having ideas, dreams, thoughts about it it wont go away no matter what i try, i use to love to dance last year that go tme not deppressed but this year i feel like i have to prove my self, try harder all of my “friends” from last year moved up and left me:'(

the only reasons im not doing it

1. im hoping that it gets better but i know it won’t

2. im trying to be strong prove people wrong

3. ill fail my family they all have high exceptions of me adn i know that i can’t do it

4. i can’t do it everytime i try someone or someones stopping me (not literally of course its like im being watch its treall weird)

5. i cant if i do ill ruin my families name

but i want to soo muchh itll make the pain go away forever……