People keep telling me things will get better. I need to help myself. I need to get out there and be a part of life. But when I try it goes wrong, I make the wrong choices, make friends with the wrong people, develop feelings for people I shouldn’t and generally end up ruining things, then end up five steps back from where I started. How the hell do I break this cycle??? I don’t really want to die, but I can’t escape the evidence that tells me it’s my only option, it is the only way I’m gonna find peace. Except i’ll probably cock it up. Why is it this hard?
Sorry, this is just a vent. An outlet of my plenty up feelings. Take care people x
4 comments
In America, a cock-up is an erection. Aaanyways… It seems like its taking you a bit more time to gague what people you can trust enough to befriend. Either that, or they’re disingenuous about their own identity. You are asking yourself the right questions, and I’m glad that you are not giving up on finding friends. Have a good weekend.
Sorry, I mean it in the English term which means to make things worse! My main problem is I seem to get on better with guys than I do girls (I’m a girl), but I mistake a guy being nice to me as a guy being attracted to me – though in the current case I was just led on by a guy with a girlfriend who kept telling me how great and pretty I am till we slept together, then he carried on till I called him on it and told him I wanted him to leave his girlfriend for me and then he backed off big time! Leaving me hurt, feeling very rejected and mourning not only the loss of a possible relationship but also the loss of a friendship – and as someone who finds it very difficult to make and keep friends (like many on here) and someone who has been single for 3 years, I don’t cope we’ll when I lose either, let alone two at once! And having no friends (besides guys who aren’t particularly great with women’s emotions) I don’t have a support system to fall back on, so I’m sitting home alone, wallowing in self pity. I’m not helping myself but don’t really know how to, besides coming and venting on here. Thanks for the kind words. Have a good weekend too x
Twister, I actually understand your situation… I put up with a girl much like your former lover for far too long as well. This does not mean you are forever a pariah or something (… the hell I get that from?) Anyways, I can imagine just how bad you hurt still.
I invite you to pop in the SP chatroom (run by users here, not this official site), because you may find other ladies there that will talk to you like only a woman who knows can.
Peace.
Thanks heartcore, I’ve been on there before. I got hit on by one of the moderators! But it does help to not feel so alone. Thanks