Craving For Pain.

Am I Insane? Waking up in the middle of the night craving just to self-harm, I could feel the need on my scarred wrist just so temped to grab my razor & press the cold metal against my skin. Deeper & deeper gliding across; red gushing out everywhere off the sides of my wrist & down my arm.  “I wanna cut, I need to cut” I could see my skin break as the tip of the knife goes down my arm with blood spilling out of my arm. Since that night I’ve been craving to cut & all I think about is suicide attempts. Maybe if I just “acidently” overdose on my insomnia pills? why aren’t there every enough pills to end it all? Or just lie in the middle of the road & relax, maybe I’ll be lucky enough to get hit? Why can’t i be skinny enough to not break the rope as i try to hang myself?  But I’m never that lucky. I can’t stop these thoughts! I wanna cut, I need to cut, I wanna die. I’m stuck in this never ending cycle of depression. I can’t escape my own thoughts, I feel trapped, isolated, confused, & mistaken. i don’t want to be a waste of oxygen anymore, i wanna disappear, i don’t wanna be a bother to anyone anymore. I can’t be the only one that feels like this on a daily basis.. Can I? Am I really that insane? I give up, I’ll just let the depression overcome me & see what happens next. I’m done.