getting worst- is this the end?

its been a while since ive been online. not a lot has happened. but im getting worst. me and my bf broke up, and there is this girl i just wanna kill. me and my best friend are fighting and ive got no sleep in about a week. im going crazy. i run away a lot during the day and sometimes at night. i think about death more and more. i just wanna die. before they were just thoughts but now it is serious. self harm- if i cut my wrist and hope to hit a vein, it will take hours of painful death until i blank out then more hours until i actually die. overdoes on my meds, well that could work but you have to deal with the pain of stomach craps, the lack of breath and everything. drowning tie my feet to some bricks and wear a heavy jumper then jump into a pool. its a short death but not breathing can e apinful itself and drowning i heard just feels like a long process and eventually you will try and fight your way to the top of the pool also there is the chance of someone finding you and saving you before you die. then there is suffication but it is impossible to sufficate yourself its just fact. ive also thought about hanging myself, there are lots of places to hang myself ive looked at them all but once again once you feel yourself stop breathing you struggle and get scared and try to lift yourself up. if i had acess to a gun i would just shoot myself but i dont so now im left with the question- which way is the best way to die? which is the less painful way?  i cry everyday because i know i want to die and im so serious about it. the thought of my family and friends used to stop these thoughts but now it doesnt work my friends have left me and my family just doesnt seem to care or accept my thought process. so once again im left alone and hopeless. this might be my last post if so im greatful for everyone and the help they have given me and all the advice.