i wish i had never told anyone about anything. Really, there’s not much to tell. God, what was i trying to do, help myself? Now i’ve got my damn nice parents caring about me -.- I should be grateful for this, a lot of people would love caring parents they can talk to, but they’re going to help me. I really don’t want this and sure don’t deserve it. Just if i kept my little snappy mouth shut i wouldn’t be this stressed. Man, you would think that help would help, but a hell not it doesn’t. I might as well kill myself in a week or 2. Why not? i say. You lot probably are thinking like “WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS GIRL!!” now that’s what i ask myself everyday. I don’t care about the pain of death anymore, i sure do deserve it even though i’m scared of it. I just hate myself sooo much, every mistake, every choice made, every path taken, every attempt to be liked. You’re all such fantastic, awesome, amazing, beautiful, special people with a worth to live. You all deserve to be happy. If i could, i’d take everything you hate about your life and use it to make my own life. I think i’m just in the wrong picture. Like a policeman doing a firemen’s job. I don’t know why things the way they are, but everythings just retarded now.
Gumpy
14 comments
I’ve had the same exact experience girl. I’m 16. I was given a fantastic life, that isn’t perfect, it has so many problems but even with that I feel as though I don’t deserve it. for 2 years I’ve hated everyone, everything. I have no motivation to be happy. but online I’ve looked at so many stories exactly like mine and yours, and it actually gives me hope which is something I’ve never had before. honestly, I realized that al these bullshit mistakes I made has given me such guilt and sadness, but I am able to over come it. girl trust me, it may seem like you want to end your life, that your done with everything, but there will always be hope for you. as much as you want to give up, don’t. be strong, that’s what you were made for. <3
Yea, i hate everything as well -.- haha. I should live on, not because i deserve it, but because i was given a good life. I don’t know, i’m not hopeful enough though. Glad you are though 🙂 Thanks so much 🙂
Gumpy
No !!! Gumpy !!! Your such a Lovley person !!! Please don’t kill yourself !!!
Your parents are going to help you, so accept the help ! Please !!
You’ll feel better after getting help, and you’ll be able to have a good life !!
Please gumpy !! Please just give it a try !! And then after sticking in at getting help, if it really dosen’t work, ten come and talk to me !! And I’ll try to help you !!! Xx
I’ve convinced myself to do it :/ I now, i’m so stupid, i should accept the help but i dont need it and there are hell of a lot more people with sooo much more bigger problems than i do that need help. Thanks Sophie 🙂 I’ll try to last, but honestly, i don’t want to help myself, too much anyway.
Gumpy
Gumpy, if it makes you want to kill yourself then it is bad !! And it warrants help !!
Gumpy you are an amazing person ! You have really helped me. The other night when I wanted to jump, you stopped me !! You are such a lovely person !! You really do deserve help ! And you deserve to find love and you deserve to be happy, and you deserve to get better !! Xx
I don’t see killing myself too big of a deal anymore, I’ve though about way too much aha. Well I’m glad I saved you !! 🙂 but I’m really not that great. I used to make my brother want to commit suicide. I’m such a terrible, awful person. Thanks so much xx
Gumpy
Well I do see it as a big deal !!!
It would tear me up to hear that you’d killed yourself !!
My brothers tell me to kill myself almost daily !
I am litterally tearing my family apart !!
If I make it to collage next year, I’m not going to stay around here. I’m out ! I don’t care where I stay. I need to get out, for myself and for everyone around me ! I’m just a problem for my parents to deal with and they don’t want to deal with me, they just want to shut me In a box.
My point is. Familys fight all the time, but you should try to get help and get better for yourself ! I know you will have an amazing life ! I promise ! Xx
Thanks Sophie :/
What terrible brothers! I think teasing someone is one thing, but telling someone to kill themselves is another, that’s just crossing the line. Well if your family is a somewhat problem, moving out should be an option! It’d be so cool to be independent and free by yourself. And thanks, so much. I have no hope at all though :/
Yeah I know. I told my mum that I wanted to move and she said fine.
She’s going to let her 16yr old daughter move out, and rent a room. It’s mad ahah. But I’m pleased !
hi gumpy im 15 and suck at giving advicebut…. it could be a good thing that your parents know but then agien i know how you feel, that is exactly the same for me. when i first went to the school guidence councilor she told my parents and i was stuck in a hospital (which made things worse.) but now you can have your family too help. deep down you really like yourself but you just got to find it. to me, i may not know you but your beautiful, young, amazing and caring. no matter what you are a very amzing person.
thanks so much 🙂 You’re name should be mine -.- haha. I know, i’m complaining again sorry, today she told them and now i hate myself even more :/ I could never love my self for anything, there is nothing at all good about me, trust me, i’m not even just saying it, it’s true. At least i have a good family, i am very grateful for that. I dont desrve it though haha. and thanks, you rock at giving advice ! 🙂
Gumpy
thanks, but you deserve your family, and you are beautiful, not an ugly duckling like me. its okay to complain, it can help sometimes, 😉 just remember you deserve every bit of happiness coming your way. i never want you to leave this world, you have to give things a go. dont say your usless, remember practice makes perfect. i love you and care for you. (even though i dont know you!!) talking can really help remember. hugs to you, love the ugly duckling. >:D<
k that hug didnt work, sd, but mentally im giving you a hug 😉
Hey the very ugly duckling,
I don’t deserve happiness, i’m in the wrong picture. I am trash in a beautiful flower garden while there is a flower in a.. dump. But thanks for your kind words 🙂
haha, i love and care for you too 🙂 *hugs* to you too 🙂
And hey, if you ever want to email me, my email is immarebal@hotmail.com
🙂
Gumpy