Three times I rewrote it. â€¨Then I cut. Deep. I watched my blood flow with complete serenity. â€¨That wouldnâ€™t kill me, but the collection of pills by my bed surely would. This time I had more than enough. I wouldnâ€™t fail this time. â€¨This is it. â€¨Then I remembered her face. That look of pure terror she wore as she died. As I watched her kill herself. Can I really do this?