Now I just wish I could follow through with it. I’ve got the scalpel. Just one quick slash to the throat, 2 minutes and it’s over. All over. Peace. it’s all I want. Why is it so hard? It can’t be that painful….
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Twister noooooooo. Talk to us.
i just wish sometime, or at least one time to have your strenghts. teach me please. i can’t do it anymore …
If your time has not come, Twister90029, you will not be able to overcome your bodily instinct. I hope are not yet ready for death and still remain. I once tried, not because I was depressed or suicidal, first, to break my windpipe with my hand, I willed it, but the body somehow rejected it, then, I decided to run for an overpass (once again, not out of suicidal depression) and I was stopped by a force which I reckoned then was God.
I did these things not out of suicidal depression, but I under the belief I was about to be captured and tortured.
Your body is God over you, even if you don’t believe in God.
I don’t want to die, but don’t want to live. The desire for death, for peace, is all consuming right now. It never gets better. Only worse. And mental issues are so much harder to fix 🙁
What’s Your last name
N770, who are you talking to?
But it does get better sometimes, Twister90029, doesn’t it? At least for me, from moment to moment, I can feel the load sometimes lighten, then come heavier down upon me. I don’t want to die, and I am afraid to live, stuck, and like you, with mental issues.
But the ups are becoming much fewer and farther between, and the downs much blacker and longer! I don’t know how much longer I can take the blackness. All these adverts for Christmas are killing me, they are a constant reminder of what I don’t have. It’s all just too much.
if it is soooooo hard, emotions are obviously still there, u r not running on autopilot or below. You care about your family and friends thus u should, while u have easy way out. They will never get over this, they will be depresses, crushed and guilty for the rest of their lives, would you be that selfish. Read my post! I can help, bigtime. If i can go through a life that i went through, and am still here, there is bigger and better things to come maybe u can even help others after you get well and there is no greater, excstatic feeling of joy in the world, besides drugs, lol!
It is all too much sometimes for me too. Someone once told me: it is better to do something than nothing, better to watch TV than stare at the ceiling, better to read than watch TV, and better to write than to read. So at least we are here reading and writing.
I gotta go drain myself, but just focus on anything, even sweeping works for me sometimes, anything to make the moment pass.
Sorry let me say that again in different sencetence And2112 whts your last name??:)