For the past 10 or 12 years i have known that things in my life weren’t right. How on earth did i allow my sad pathetic life come to this? Alls i know is that i can’t take it anymore, constant thoughts of suicide even if i haven’t guts to do it i still have this strong feeling of wanting to die. I often question my very existance. I do understand what people are trying to do when they write stuff like ” It will get better” stuff like that, but at the same time it never does get any better. Just a few things that i suffer from: Severe depression, Dyscalculia, Severe Moodswings. These last 2-3 years my depression has gotten worse.
I no longer care whether i live or die, or care about anything in general anymore. Used to have a few friends but i lost contact with them. They werent really close friends i guess. Im ashamed to admit that i’ve never even had a girlfriend and will probably never have one. Â I have lost the willpower to go on, i dont even know myself anymore or what i am doing here. Im worthless, useless, a waste of space time & money.
If you are reading this please give me a honest reason thats worth me being alive and no ” Jesus christ bull”.
5 comments
I think a lot like you and have also never had a girlfriend. I can give you the reason I’m still alive because I’m in the middle of making one last attempt at a dream. I’m not sure what ill do if it fails. I’d say make one more attempt at your dream and then think about suicide even if you’ve already tried a million times a million and one won’t hurt.
In the same boat man – just having to pluck up the courage and kill myself and when no one is around the house of course. I cant offer you any positive advise here as I’m basically in the same position except I have Bi Polar disorder instead =/
It gets better. I promise you.. It will. How do I know? Well I was diagnosed with major depression in late October. Constant thoughts of suicide. Even when I didn’t want to think about it. Every thing I looked at I was thinking of how I could kill myself with it. A couple weeks ago I tried killing myself. Failed. Now I’m happy though bursting with it. I take medication though and talk to a counselor. It really does get better.
I relate to a lot of what you said, and I wish I could tell you that it does gets better but I’ve never experienced it so I can’t say that it does. Good luck.
Thanks guys/gals for the support i really appreciate it, it means a lot to me to know that there are nice people who care about people like me. Oh and sorry for the late reply.
Just when i was about to give up i found this site by chance when i was randomly searching for the word suicide. Thanks for the advice too.