I fail
I have been strong
I have went so long
But now I’m falling weak
I should not go on
For I am always wrong
And now it’s time to seek
Time to seek the ways
The ways of the second chance
I can live
I will be free
Set out of misery
I wish to die
Die of this time
I fail
I fail at love
Life
And even death
But I need my body to be put to rest
I fail I know no need to speak
But now if I could only just go to sleep
November 2012
For the first time, in a long time, I feel something unfanilar. Something great, beautiful, strong.
Something different. I feel happiness, I feel hope. And I know that it may only last for a moment or maybe a day, it reminds me that this life wont be dark forever… There will be moments of weakness maybe almost everyday… But at least I am reminded that happiness is possible. Even if I cant feel it, its inside me. Deep down. Lost. But its there…
more than anything in the world, I would like to not be here no more. I am in constant mental(emotional) and almost constant physical pain. I really am miserable and to be quite frank, I am so sick of trying to push and be fake when its killing me on the inside. i have no friends to hug and console me (like previously stated) and my mum is just as depressed as me…telling her would cause another fight that I can’t handle. but lets face it…since I was 15 (i am now 21) i have tried killing myself many times. most nights i want too […]
I feel bad for my friend, shortie. Yesterday she was on Tumblr, and she saw a screen shot of a texting conversation where basically a dude broke up with a chick because she was suicidal. All of the comments were about other people who’d gone through the same shit. Shortie started crying on my shoulder after reading all of that, and she had the most terrified look on her face. She asked me if I’d ever stop loving her if she was suicidal. I would NEVER stop loving her, and it broke my heart that she even felt the need to ask. I know she […]
quite recently, i’ve been feeling very depressed again and i’ve taken up cutting again. i was clean for a year on August 1 and now that i have started again, it has added onto my depression because i’ve failed at stopping. in eighth grade, i’m a senior now, i tried to kill myself and i haven’t felt as low ever since. recently, it’s been worse. i can’t even fake a smile anymore and i’ve just been so suicidal. i also have an eating disorder. i go countless days just chewing gum and drinking water, making myself throw up at the end of the day. i know […]
I googled “suicide loneliness” and came across this web site. I scrolled across the page, read three stories-one of hope, one of struggle, one of demise. Something in me twinged, felt the urge to create an account, write this…whatever this is. And the worst part about it is that I have a test tomorrow that I should be studying for right now. Guess that’s the point of this message though. To explain why when having every reason in the world not to feel lonely or suicidal, I still do.
There’s tons of different reasons for loneliness. Some of us suffer from mental illness, some of us […]
i have none, I wish I had one. anyone
I feel like I am about to quit. I want it to be over. My mom has a superiority complex. She likes keeping me in check knowing (thinking) that i will roll over and be her little b****. Today he did’nt like how I did the dishes and wanted me to do it all over again. All because I didn’t do it the exact way she wanted me to! So I ended up getting to an argument explaining to her that she makes me feel like s*** and that she bullies me and she is allowed to make rules and then change them in the […]
Hey everybody!
I’m a new user…I’m friedoysterskins, and I’m 15 years old.
Just thought I should introduce myself. Hopefully I’m welcomed to join the community!
For my first post on here, I’d just like to vent about a few things, if that’s alright.
Alright, well I consider myself an introvert. I keep most things to myself. I prefer solitude. I’m inexpressive at times. I suffer in silence. Why?
I don’t know why I bottle myself up, or why I don’t ever share what’s on my mind.
Two reasons I came up with why I do are:
I feel compelled to not show any signs of weakness. I’m a very emotional person. Whenever […]
I changed. I changed everything about me for someone just so I could be with them. It took me three years ,but here I am. I don’t like what I’ve become. If I’d known what I know now I would’ve stayed a loner. I am still alone. I have friends ,but not close friends. I struggle to make connections with people. I’ve never had a girlfriend.Everyone else seems to have had one but me. I’m jealous of people who would be in love one day and separated another. I tell myself I don’t need anything but myself and my success and for a while that […]
I feel so empty all the time. I just want to curl up in a ball and scream, but I just keep walking, with that same expression on my face. Is this really how life is supposed to be? With all these people, trying to save themselves, from themselves? Trying not to end their own life, trying to keep breathing?
Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth it. What’s the point? What’s coming ahead that’s so important? Just more and more shit. Taxes, jobs, mortgages, college, high school, I’m only 13! I have a whole life in front of me, but all I can see is […]
I don’t know, this place is just weird..I’m not sure why I joined. Maybe I need it too? I feel weird.
I can’t even understand myself sometimes, like right now, about why I’m here.
I think I have multiples personalities or some shit. It won’t stop and shut up already, It won’t leave. My ‘humanity’ just doesn’t disappear. My mind won’t stop the nonsense and let me think straight. No, the over-thinking won’t stop. I just want it to be calmed, at least before I could still think, sure I felt melancholic but I could think.
Everything and everyone is full of bullshit. And if there’s people and […]
Not a single one of us chose to be born unto life, not all life is blessing, much of it is curse, and as Buddha might say: life is suffering. Of course, as for myself, I agree with the elders: better never to have been born.
Living now, it has became a daily struggle. I fight to make it through another second, another minute, another hour. I can’t look into the future, I can’t tell myself I’ll make it to Christmas, I can only tell myself I can make it to 10 PM. Nothing helps me feel better. I can cry for hours and hours, it won’t make my wounds heal. I could rant all I pleased, it makes me feel worse. It’s like poking a bruise, it just makes it hurt more.
I try to make myself see things better, but things aren’t better, that’s just it! My “friends” hate me, […]
can someone help me? i wanna know what heaven or hell is like. or whatever comes after death. i’ve read books and stuff but nothing helps.
please. help? everyday i think about what life will be like after death and i just wanna know. i don’t care if it’s a religious view but please help me. thankyou
I feel tired all the time. I feel like theres no reason anymore. I drag myself through every day. I don’t want to survive, I want to live. I want to be happy again. I always wake up and feel depressed, like I don’t want to get up. I dont want to go any where. I don’t want to do anything. My life always feels wrong. Like something is missing. Like theres an empty place where you should be.
Im making this really short: I thought I was happy. I’ve been wrong. So I wanna try again. Find a long lost friend.
I can’t wait to see you, death.
everyday i feel like im worth nothing. Today i got back my science results and they were terrible. im not smart, ill never be and sometimes i wonder whats the point of living if i never gonna be smart enough to get a job. i try. i just cant stuff the information into my freaking stupid brain. And yeah, im not pretty. im not good anything. I wish i was better at everything and i don’t like my life. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT MYSELF. people tell me dont do that. or they ask me why I feel like dying but they just dont get what […]
so my school decided to give out suicide prevention bracelets that say “Celebrate Life” and “Everyone Matters”. i think its crap, but i guess its for the recent senior who committed suicide last month..so i guess ill wear it.
been kind of happy lately only because i am with my first actual boyfriend and im talking to my best friend again who has recently began to cut herself again. I’m the only one who knows at this point and i cant do anything about it because shes been doing it forever, and doesnt listen to anyone anyway. This is a trigger for me and my family […]
I cry. But then i’m ok. I don’t understand either. I fell in love. He fell in love, But not with me. My best friend. or was. I dont know anymore. They kiss, they hug, they touch, They break my heart one piece at a time. I feel like my hearts in his hands and he broke it then threw it away. And as hard as i search i just can NOT find it. I ruin every opptunity for someone to help me find it. I can’t go on like this. I just can’t.