I can’t stand this. No one talks to me except to say “sorry†after they push me. People surround me in their own world—they don’t even see the girl next to them on a suicide website. All they see is a block sitting in the spot they want to stand in. I really hate these people. Always being a last-resort. Listening to them whine about nothing. On top of that I got an email from my dad this morning proclaiming that my life is at an all time low and that I should call him. I really hate everything right now. I feel so bad right now it’s unbelievable. I want to cut. I want to cut. So what’s stopping me? Now more than ever I want to shadow at public school. I hate these people. Just shut up okay. I don’t need to hear your squeals.
Sorry that I isolate. Sorry that you all think I’m a freak.
But you’re the ones who think any sexual reference at all is funny. I could be funny to then. Sorry though that I also have some self-respect. What, am I supposed to sacrifice everything I believe in just to fit in?
3 comments
I know you’re not a freak, alright listen your life is obviously crap right now and let me guess your in high school…. You and I know this from the blog are clearly a really nice person I know you might think you’re a good friend but everyone here says that. EVERY SINGLE PERSON on this website think they are all mean, selfish, ugly or whatever but they’re all wrong EVERYONE are all thinking negatively about them selves but just by posting this it shows you are determined, considerate HOPEFUL and probably nice because you’re determined to stay alive otherwise you would have killed yourself already considerate of other people because you’re taking their advice into account and hopeful because otherwise you wouldn’t be here you are single and think no-body likes you well you are thinking negatively about yourself trust me you are wrong and I want you to try this just every time you think badly about yourself just stop you know you’re wrong (i think) I know you’re wrong all you have to do is train your emotions just try cheer yourself up and DONT THINK NEGATIVE think about the qualities you have even if they’re not important and repeat them in your head eg. keep saying (i’m kind, funny and deep) over and over again in your head even if you think they don’t matter they matter to other people thats why you have friends I mean if you were mean would anyone even talk to you even once? Do you talk to mean people? exactly just repeat good thoughts
Feeling like an outcast when you’re at school is not a nice feeling. Been there, done that.
The worst thing you can do is to try and change yourself to fit in. Trust me on this. If you try to assimilate with the herd, you will wake up one day in 20 years time and realise that you’ve spent half your life being someone you’re not, and that will smack you down so hard you won’t know if you’ll ever get up. That’s how I ended up on SP.
Embrace your differences. Do your best to get through school and do as well as you can. I think you’ll find that once you get to College or University, you’ll end up meeting a whole bunch of other people that were also deemed by others to be one of their school’s ‘freaks’.
All the best.
This sounds exactly like what I went through before I left high school a while ago. I would say if it gets really bad, just leave high school, because there are other options. I don’t know if any of this applies to you, but I just got a really familiar feeling from your comments. Add me on skype at jim.marlo if you wanna talk about it.