what is wrong with me?

I’m so confused, and i feel like a selfish selfish person. i self harm quite a lot, i have been doing it for a long time but cannot pin point exactly when it started. i always remember being very in touch with my emotions and very easily attached and maybe too emotional for my own good. I myself suffered from bullying when i was a child about my teeth, and grew up being very self conscious of myself. My father comes from a Jewish background though my family itself doesn’t have any particular religion, and i have been baptized and had a holy communion as my mother is catholic. i was also proud of my mixed religion family.

however when i was 13 -14 me and my school group (i go to an all girls) met a group of guys, at first it was fine, but then the teasing began. they called me Jew  dirty Jew  and worse. told me to go back to the concentration camp etc. my once proud aspect now seemed like a dirty scar marked into me. i tried to shake it off but i couldn’t  the words sunk further in. i was this ugly dirty Jew, who didn’t belong. i tried speaking to my friends but they didn’t understand and most found it funny, i wanted to die i felt so low. but i kept on, that’s when the cutting really started i guess, and ever since then i do it, when I’m upset, or angry or feeling lonely. i feel worthless consistently even though now i have a good group of close friends guys and girls and a good social life and a family who loves me. yet i still feel depressed and miserable consistently. is that so wrong?? i feel like an awful person for even having suicidal thoughts but there is a part of me that whats to end it all, the only thing that stops me is knowing that i would be leaving my family behind. could someone please try and relate to me, i just want to know I’m not the only one out there.