what a year ><

December 31st, 2012by --334560

this year was the toughest one I have had in my life. i dropped out of college twice and was hospitalized 4 times. i have experienced the lowest points in my life this year. but i have also realized many important things. i have grown up. i have gotten closer to my husband. he is my best friend. he helps me through my illness. i have gotten closer to my church family and i am now in the beginning phases of getting real intensive treatment for my BPD. i hope that i begin to really heal this year. i am fed up of this lifestyle …

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December 31st, 2012by blackhole

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“happy” new year

December 31st, 2012by David

Well, it probably voids all rules of this site to say this. But tonight, i’m going to kill myself. I’m not here to get help as such.
I’m seventeen. And it’s new year. And I’m drunk.
Although i said i’m not here for help, i won’t stop anybody who tries, because i know full well you would even if i told you not too. Because bar a few pathetic trolls here and there, each and every one of you are amazing people.
I guess, this is being written so i can feel understood for a little while. I want to speak to someone who knows what it’s like …

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Another poem for you all.

December 31st, 2012by I.cant.breathe!

If I die would you cry?
Would you suddenly realize?
I was here, for you.
Can you be there for me too?
The streets right there and the forests not far, would you care if i ran in front of a car?
This cliff im on can only last so long. I think it’s time for me to fall.
and please dont think it’s all your fault.
but you never answer when i call.
You’d never help if i were to fall.
So, if i died you would’nt cry you’d just carry on with life. no mourning no sorrow well goodbye cause there will be

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i don’t know why..

December 31st, 2012by rainyskiesx

but i always find myself coming back to this site. i try my best to stay positive and be happy, but it never works out.. i also can’t seem to stay away from this site,  i always end up coming back .


anyone else feel the same?

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Lack of color.

December 31st, 2012by falling_soup

is it time for me too go yet? can I fade away too black and disappear? I am a lack of color. I have no reason too stay everything is just black and white too me. sometimes there are hints of color but mostly there are very short and if not rare. I am sinking in to a deep dark whole of emptiness. I am sick and tired of fighting this battle. Not a single day goes by were I wish I could die…. there are those who love and care about me and that is whats keeping me here by a thread… I am …

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And the clock struck twelve…

December 31st, 2012by Roaming_Soul

Its passed midnight where I am and 2013 has started. I can only say happy new year to those of you who wish to find happiness, but to people like me it signifies the beginning of a new course of hurt, heartache and that longing feeling of wanting to escape this place. I’m pretty drunk so my feelings are real right now.

To be honest when that clock hit twelve I let a tear shed, because I’m scared. I’m scared of what this year will hold and I don’t want to experience the same shit again! I honestly never thought I would make it here, but …

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I Want to Change This Year

December 31st, 2012by TheNoNamer

So it’s basically 2013 and I give up on those new years resolution. I know I won’t follow them, and if I do it won’t last. I know the number one thing is to stop hating myself and I just can’t, not alone. Number two on my list is to get more friends, REAL friends. I hate it when people tell me to be more social, if people don’t want to hang out then I won’t hang out with them. Number 3 is to stop my habits, including cuttting. Why I hate my self is because I started comparing myself to how I

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I miss Sinine

December 31st, 2012by RuinsOfTheVoid

What ever happened to that ball of sunshine. She always cheered me up. Happy new year Sinine where ever you are.

Happy new year SP.

I wish you all luck and happiness in the year.


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What can I do? I’ve tried so much

December 31st, 2012by ravanys

Hi, my name is Ruben.
I’m only 16 years old and I’ve been thinking of suicide since I was 10. I know it’s perhaps a bit young to think in such a way but I really am convinced that I should die. The only thing holding me back is the fact that I want to try every kind of help first.

See, there lays my problem. When I search for help all I find is “talk to a friend”, well I have, And it wasn’t a great experience. I have told her everything and it helped for a while untill she got this boyfriend that started sucking …

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The Caged Canary

December 31st, 2012by khajiit

Curled tightly in its iron womb
Forthcoming almost certain doom
an infant bird respires last
wretched secrets mere and vast

“To die!” it shrills “I beg you please
Take my breath and let me cease”
A chilly, silent, cheerless air
secreted by this bird’s despair

Restrained by ageless ferric bars
adorned in grisly, gaping scars
from strife and discord with its cage
and self-inflicted fiendish rage

Withered and replete of wrath
its essence walks a lonely path
Phantoms, voices beckon so
and warn of hells it dares to go

what happened to this bird I know
a tale of endless pain and woe
left in its cage to rot and die
its final whisper simply “Why?”

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just bout 2013 and i hope 2012 isnt ganna be a repeat

December 31st, 2012by fakingit

i have gone through some serious shit this year. i swear if i have to start that again i will just give up entirely.

Jan: i was in rehab went through a lot of hell
Feb: out of rehab things getting slightly better
Mar: life was better compared to the last two months
Apr: i was losing it again
May: abuse started progressively
June: i wanted nothing but to die more and more each day. but i met my best friend which is why im here today
July: july 13: nearly died from overdose first most successful suicide attempt except u know im somehow stuck here
August: …

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Looks like there no hope left for me!

December 31st, 2012by winterz

Hey guys. well its 2013 now. everyone is happy making wishes for the new year and i just thought about my life all day long. nothing! cant see light anymore. i was so pissed off  i had a car accident today. i cant even think about it anymore.

Please tell me there is nothing to hold on to.

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Hell is on Earth

December 31st, 2012by The Anti-Mike

To everyone trying to stop those from doing the right thing for themselves must stop. Free Will belongs to only One person, the One making the Choice. I see our world and hate who we are, what we do and how we treat each other. Death is the Only solution from this place before the Real Hell begins, for those who remain Alive, will Suffer and Wish they were dead. Everyone who has died up until now, are the Lucky Ones, because they will not Suffer what is about to come…

I am trying to get the courage to release my body tonight and not see the …

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Insights from a Suicide Survivor

December 31st, 2012by lostmybeautifulson

So I am reading the posts, feeling tortured by the sadness and difficulty so many are experiencing and wishing there was something I could do. Besides offering my support and empathy and encouraging people to ask for help, I feel pretty helpless. But I need to share a different perspective: a family member left behind. My son killed himself just over 8 months ago. We were blindsided. It was a short window of time from “all is OK and great in the world” to dead. We were a fortunate family—great kids, good communication. My son was truly the whole package: smart, nice, good looking, generous, …

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The Human Condition

December 31st, 2012by Engie

I have no bitterness. I do not hate those who have wronged me. I should be thanking them, for they taught me a valuable lesson about friendship: it isn’t a real thing.

I never had much of a conscience. I can’t think of a time where my actions have made me feel guilt or remorse, but I always thought that being nice to other people would earn trust. This isn’t the case. Kindness only tells others that you are weak and can be exploited or walked over.

I think of the number of people who were only friends with me because they wanted to fuck me and …

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whats there to live for

December 31st, 2012by afia

hi my name is afia when you have left youe ex and he has your grown up kids and they do not want to see you waht do you do you have got nothing to live for i feel like this everyday some days are very bad i do not want to get up all day or eat or drink anything will it ever get better.

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From what I’ve seen

December 31st, 2012by blindaudio

There’s a lot of people on this site who are hurting.

A lot of people have had terrible things happen to them, including myself here.

If anyone needs someone to talk to about, well, anything, depression, suicidal thoughts, girls, guys, broken relationships or what, feel free.

My email is brl.cents@gmail.com

I’m here for anyone who wants me and I just felt this should be done.

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whispers in the dark!!

December 31st, 2012by sinful desires

whispers in the dark
i wish to be hold in your arms
i’m losing my mind
calling your name,screaming it aloud
looking into your eyes
seeing death say his vows
looking for you around
calling you to comeback
yet you did never answer my hopeless calls
whispers in the dark
i wish if you stayed in this life
i’m losing my heart
calling your name every night
crying it out loud
hoping if you still here,next to my frozen mind
i’m still living in your era
just hopelessly imagine you here
tears fall down,and slowly i feel
you exictence is ereased from others life
whispers in the dark
calling me to follow you to the other side
so here i come my dear
saying my vows to …

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December 31st, 2012by sinful desires

how many tears i’ve shed until now?
how many nights i’ve been feeling this guilt of breaking this vow?
how many years i’ve wanted to convince to myself
that i’am still alive
not just breathing alive
sick of something called life
i struggle just to please my world
just to please my God
i’ve tried really hard not to cut myself
many times
i’ve promised that i wouldn’t
but sorry God,even if you are angry at me now
my demons has already ate my heart
my hand has been tainted by the crimson dye
my mind was eager to just feel a little of pain
to know and confirm that i’am still alive
how many whispers has penetrated my head
shouting aloud,why …

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