Suicide note. but don’t worry, i’m not going anywhere tonight

so, today i felt like i had to write my suicide note because i was feeling really crappy.  i don’t know if  id ever do it, but i had the biggest urge to tonight. so here it is, just so i could tell someone.

mom, i love you and i always will. you were always there for me, always helped me with anything. but i dont think i could be helped this time. this was my own choice.
i have always wanted to leave. i was always forcing that smile and laugh, just so you thought i was happy. i was never happy. i don’t know what will happen now but I’m
always going to be with you. i love you.

dad, don’t blame yourself. it wasn’t you, it was me. sure, what you did hurt, but i was hurt before that. i know i cant say anything, but don’t take the same way i did. you are loved, and i always meant it when i said i loved you. i just couldn’t take it anymore.

Chris, you are a fucking asshole and i hate you. i really do. a lot of what i did was your fault. you were one of the main reasons i did this. but please, you don’t
need to give a fuck. just make jokes about it and it will go away. it doesn’t matter anyway. PS i never loved you. you really were the worst brother i could ever have.

my friends, some of you will understand better than others why i did this, but none of you will truly get it. you were the ones who were there for me when no one else
was.i know you tried to help me, but you couldn’t. i tried to be happy for you but it was heartbreaking.forget me and move on. i don’t matter anyways. but, i will always
love you more than anything in the world (except for my parents) and you were the best things to ever come into my life.
i dont know what will happen now. i should mention to my mom that i dont believe in god. its been a long time since i have.i continued to go for you, but it all seemed
pointless.i really hope no one forgets me, but i want you all to move on.

i love you all. please forgive me. its what i wanted