Why do I keep fucking shit up? Why am I so stupid? I just… Feel like I am no good to anyone. I feel like all I do is screw shit up. I have nowhere to go, no friends that I can rant to freely without them getting annoyed and I’m left to this site. I have hit rock-bottom, and my last resort was this website.
Tell me, how pathetic does that sound? A site called The Suicide Project is where I go to when I need to vent. Yeah, most may call me lucky: I’ve been accepted into an amazing cosmetology school, I’m a model, I can do what I want… But that doesn’t replace the EMPTINESS that I feel inside. I just feel so God damn empty. It’s 7am, and I have not yet gone to sleep or nothing. I’m so confused. I’m so alone. I’m lost… I can’t cut, I need my cigarettes, but I don’t have any…
Shit, I think I need to start my anti-depressants again.
I wish I wasn’t so sad… I just want to happy, is that too much to fucking ask for? I try so hard, fuck, I was helping people like you guys for the longest damn time, and I still do it, but now I’m one of the people I help….
Can somebody please help me? I need some help, or I’m gonna ending up screwing something else up. I’m such a damn klutz, apparently with real life sit too. How can I fix other people when I can’t even fix myself….? What is wrong with me?
I need someone to help me…
5 comments
trying to impress everyone usually ends up a mass of forgotten ideas… I’ve found that maybe i can’t change and the things i used to enjoy before are still there for me and so i try and take them to the next level since i’m already particularly good at them… i have used english methods to evaluate my lifestyle at times… we are constantly revising our paper to correct things yet most of the time we are drafting or what we call free writing.. thats even so simple to be explained as just warming up to letting the ideas flow…
an award is a lot different than a trophy… a trophy you’re ranked by when you achieve the goal etc while an award was something you worked so hard that you won by another’s choice… yet by no means did they say you had to do what you do to earn that award…
TheLostandAlone,
so………. what’s the problems? you sound a bit angry?
You said you wanted help. You mentioned antidepressants. Are you coming to the conclusion you need therapy and meds? If those have helped you before, then by all means do them again! Depression is a nasty thing that keeps resurfacing. Take heed–it’s telling you something. There’s something you haven’t quite seen yet that is coming out in all these symptoms. Is therapy an option?
..at least youre in school and already have an easy job. thats something most people dont have, even after they graduate.. you should just go to sleep and wake up, because it just sounds like you arent really depressed, youve just been awake for a little too long.