Ugh, God. The past few months have been hell, even with all of the nice comments people’ve put on my posts. I’m stressed out beyond belief, I haven’t slept in 3 days, literally. I haven’t eaten in… fuck, I can’t remember the last time I ate. My dad’s threatened to punch me in the face multiple times, he’s yelled and screamed at me, telling me I’m not good enough. My grades, as hard as I’ve tried, have plummeted. From A’s and B’s last year, to C’s, D’s, and a few F’s. My girlfriend is possibly going to prison, and I could go too. My best friend was diagnosed with ‘neurologically disturbed psychosis schizophrenia’ so as much as I love ’em, the advice I get from them isn’t exactly reliable. I’m just in what seems like hell. I’d love to kill myself, to end all my misery, but even though it seems so wonderful there are things I want to do with my life. A very small few at that. I’d love to run away, but the one and only place I want to go is a literal ‘journey of a thousand miles’ plus about 300 more. Just please, if you’re reading this, please help ease a little of my pain and loneliness and comment or something. I don’t care what you put, but please just write something and make my day a little bit better. Please.
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That’s some heavy stuff, shadowfire. I think you could benefit from a sandwich and a bit of shut eye. Have you ever tried meditation? It helps with the stress overload. Try not to take the weight of the world on your shoulder’s. One thing at a time, okay? Take care of yourself.
Heh, thanks goodgirl, and yes I have tried meditation. I should’ve put this in there too, I have insomnia and I’ve had absolutely no appetite for about 2 1/2 months. And I have manic depression too. I sorta missed out on a few things…
Ooh, insomnia is a *****. We’re old pals. 😉 Have you tried sleep aids? I like to mix them up between natural and unnatural (?) sleep aids. Even benadryl helps. Sometimes. I’ve gone through the no appetite thing too. Ugh. I had to force myself to eat, even a little bit. It’s hard, definitely. I feel for you. That’s a lot to deal with and the stress just makes it worse. So, does meditation work for you? Or do you have trouble clearing your mind?
I don’t know… I mean, it sort of helps, but only sometimes. To be honest it actually does more harm than help, I can never fully clear my mind so I start wandering off in thought and I start eventually thinking about all the problems that are causing me such grief. It’s not very helpful. And I’m probably being really stupid about it, but I never take anything for any illness that I have. Including sleep aids for insomnia.
No, you’re not being stupid about it. It is hard to clear your mind, but you’ve got to keep at it if that’s what you want. It’s easy to drift off into those thoughts, you need some relief, though. Why don’t you take anything for sleeping, if you don’t mind my asking?
Not at all. It sorta started when I was little. Both my grandmother and my mother need large amounts of medication because they have certain illnesses that cause them alot of pain, I promised myself that no matter what sort of illness I have I won’t take any medicine, even sleeping pills, because I want my body to be able to handle it when, and at this point, if I’m older. It’s the only promise I’ve ever actually kept so I refuse to take absolutely anything.
Oh, okay, I can understand that. I’ve made my own promises to myself similar to that. Hm, well, have you tried googling relaxation techniques? Sometimes reading a book before bed helps make me tired. If you can get your focus on what you’re reading and not your thoughts, that is. That’s the key. Oh, if you’re a tea drinker, there’s sleepy time tea available, ha. If you did get really desperate for sleep, there are natural sleep aids that aren’t habit-forming and don’t do any sort of damage to your body. Melatonin is one, and your body actually makes it’s own melatonin, but some people lack it. Those are my only suggestions, shadow.
And thank you for your suggestions. I’ll try some of that stuff.
You’re welcome. I hope something works for you. Good luck.
Welcome to the club 😉