Message for the Suicide Project

Hello SP

This is by far one of the oddest things I have ever been asked to do. But here goes.

Some of you may remember me from a few years ago. My wife died in childbirth and my daughter of leukemia. I was angry at the world and god. I tried to kill myself. I meet someone here who saved my life. He talked me down from my darkest hour and we became good friends. He too knew grief, we were bonded by pain.

I was diagnosed with cancer this year, I almost didn’t get the treatment, but he convinced me to change my mind. I am now in remission. He has saved my life twice and I am now happy and engaged.

The other day I received a letter in the post from this old friend who now lives in India. You may know him as Unique. I have transcribed the contents for you.

Hello my old friend

I hope this letter finds you in good health and that your treatment is going well. I am sorry I have not contacted you sooner but I have not been in the best of mental health since the funeral. Thank you for attending, it meant more to me than I can ever fully express.

I had to leave, there is nothing Ireland for me anymore. I have lost too much there. It only brings me pain to even think about it.

I hope Eve is well, say hi to her for me. Don’t waste anytime my friend, tell her you love her everyday and never leave things on a bad note.

I now live in the countryside, or more aptly the mountainside. I live in a little village and help with the farm work, I also help people to pay their bills and send letters. Most of them can’t read or write. So I am trying to teach the younger ones.

For the first time in a very long time I am happy. It has been years since I slept a full night, no nightmares, no dreams, just peace. I wish I have some kind of camera to send you, the views are amazing.

I have to ask a favor of you now. I need you to deliver a message for me. When I left the city I sent some emails and I think they may have sent the wrong message about my intentions. I just to clear the air, however I am not in any position access the Internet and I don’t plan on returning to the city any time soon. Maybe I never will.

Will you please post this on the Suicide project.

To SP

Hello SP

I just wanted to let you know that I am doing well and that I have found a place that I can finally be at peace. I meditate for three hours a day in one of the most beautiful places in  the world, it has done wonders for my stress and pain. I have slept a full night for the first time in a long time.

I am sorry this message isn’t coming directly from me, but I now live in the mountains and I cannot access the Internet. Its amazing to live in a place without mobile phones or any modern tech really. It has humbled me and helped me to see the beauty in the little things.

I my never return to the city, at the moment I have everything I want right here. good people and good clean air and a healthier mind.

I will never forget any of you. Dawg, Duke, Nobody to name but a few. I will remember our conversations fondly. I hope you can all find some kind of peace, happiness, love.

This is likely the last you will ever hear from me. I am sorry I left some of you when you needed me, but I could not hope to survive the way I was. Now I am at peace with my life and my choices. Life is simple when you break it down.

Goodbye SP

Peace

Unique

Please do this for me Sam. I know you will try at least. That is all I ask.

Between the two of us we have seen more sorrow than any god should allow, yet we have both made it. I will always remember our friendship.

Thinking on you always.

Shane