I find it really hard to let go and say what I want on this site I guess because I don’t do it at all and if I do it’s once in a blue moon but right now my thoughts are racing and I want to speak freely.
This week hasn’t been to great for me and I’m feeling indifferent about it, I haven’t been able to focus on my work and have been getting very little sleep I guess it’s because last year around Christmas is when my depression was worse than normal. I was reflecting  to last year when I got depression, I remember thinking of everything to do to get rid of it because I felt ashamed and I still do. I’ve noticed that depression,suicide,and other mental illnesses aren’t really seen in a good light (self-explanatory) but what I mean is that your told things like “think about someone who has it worse than you” or ” do you know how selfish it is to feel that way” and it makes me sad to hear because it’s like saying your problems don’t matter to say that to me is really hurtful because instead of giving support to the person you’re crushing their spirits, I guess that’s how some of the people around me make me feel. Everything’s moving so fast, kids my age are out there following their dreams and I’m here depressed.
3 comments
Ugh, I HATE the “but you have it so good compared to people in third world countries” etc. Or, worse, compared to someone in my life. A good friend of mine recently lost his estranged wife to suicide, and everyone feels soooooooo bad for him — as well they should, I feel bad for him too — but you know what? He’s doing a lot better than I am, even though what he’s been through is so much “worse.” He has hope for the future. He doesn’t have low self esteem and mental issues. People don’t realize it’s all relative. Like you said, it makes you feel like your problems don’t matter. Someone ALWAYS has it worse, and pain is pain, it’s not selfish or unselfish. It just IS.
But, whatever. I just don’t talk to those people. Which means I don’t talk to anyone, except anons on the interwebz and my therapist who operates under the delusion that she can help me (I like talking to her so I’m content to let her think that).
I can’t avoid these people unfortunately. What is talking to a therapist like?
Many people are a waste of space. Try to remember that. Ignore them. I used to get really upset about them saying don’t be selfish, now I don’t give a shit. Everyone’s selfish. It’s funny how they think you should ‘take comfort’ in someone else’s suffering. What a great, great way to see the world. Fucking idiots.