I’ve tried turning my life round, but yet again I’ve failed. I keep trying to better myself but everything ends up being a false dawn of hope or another fuck up to add to the ever extending list. I’ve always been a bit melancholy but I love having a laugh. I want to be in love again but I can’t open up. People say that I sometimes come across as cocky or supremely confident, yet I’m actually shy and unsure of myself. I’m one huge contradiction. I can easily identify with those who say they wear a mask in front of others and hide what […]
December 2012
Many of you have seen me here.
And what really can be said. If I could right now, I’d take my own life because there seems to be no light at the other end. I’m flat it seems like with no emotion and I hate that feeling. I’ve gone through a lot in my life, not as much as some on here, but I’ve got demons I live with every day and don’t know how to take it anymore.
So why do I write? No idea. I guess just to say, I’m tired of it? That I live through life alive but dead? And that I’m […]
I dont deserve to live. Thats what I think, and thats what I feel everyone else should think about me. Ever since i’ve become a teenager my life has just been shit. You’ll probably say im just overreacting. You’re probably right. But i cant help it. I just hate myself so bad I can barely describe it. Im a failure at life. I had friends, then I lost them, im socially awkward, im a freak, im a coward, im pessimistic, im selfish, im useless, im dumb, im slow and im narrow-minded. I feel like Gods mistake. Aparrently God gave everyone a good trait, but not […]
So I decided to end my life once again. And once again I failed. I had the noose around my neck, I was getting tunnel vision as everything faded, bliss filling me, and I stood back up. I’m far too heavy to actually hang myself on like the ceiling fan whilst standing on a chair and kicking it away, so I go for partial suspension which is all it really takes. I tie my bathrobe into a noose and tie it in my closet, slip my head through, tighten it and kneel. I don’t know why I do it, but each time I get back up right […]
Here’s my story.
I lived in England for two and a half years. I had amazing experiences there, gained friends, found a good church and met my ex bf (whom I loved and still love). I was catholic before but became born again Christian which is a significant thing that happened to me while I was in England.
My ex and I were very close and very sweet. People always looked at us whenever we go out or even at church probably because we look good together or probably because of our overflowing affection to each other. We’ve been together for almost 9 months. We had issues […]
Just called a suicide hotline.. they guy i talked to .. he just kept saying uh well you need to look at it from a better point of view.
I lost my 2nd oldest brother cause my oldest brother raped me! and you exspect me to look on the bright side. I look at his facebook everyday, hoping to get to know him. I DONT EVEN KNOW MY OWN BROTHER. And i hate it.. i hate it so badly. I only found out last week he’s graduated highschool.. i never knew.. i didnt know..
I miss him so badly, we would stay up reading the hungry catapillar, […]
school is going to start, it’s going to be a sudden change of pace… reading, always reading… so many people… memorizing stuff… I may not have to post anymore… it’s interesting to have gone through this in this way… i’ll be back but who am I?
I’m sore from trying, I’d rather be sore from doing… my head hurts on and off… 2 more days until a new year… will I be able to do it? will I finally make it? I tell myself I’m strong enough… I do… I believe I’m ready to do this… Time is crawling…still I wonder, am I worth making this memorable again?
Did […]
Hi, my names sarah I’m 14, school is horrendous I don’t get bullied but I’m invisible no one notices me and its all my fault cos in year 7 I would make bullshit up to try and fit in, and it worked at first then it backfired when my parents split up,I live with my mum who is now marrying a new guy in 2013 but the real reason I’m on here is because I’m in love with 2 people that I cannot have, the first lets call him Ben is my ex I loved him so much and I still do but when I […]
i kind of feel like nothing. you know?
as in. i feel empty, literally.
like i have no stomach, or liver, or kidneys, or lungs just nothing. i feel nothing. im just an outline of a figure holding a sad soul, that has already died.
the only thing i know exists is my brain, because the voices are haunting it.
my feelings are gone. i thought i felt numb before, and would occasionally notice a feeling, of somewhat happiness that would last mere seconds.
but now. it’s like i don’t even recognise emotion.
i ‘smile’.
it feels like any other movement.
it doesn’t hold any true feeling of happiness. nothing. […]
i thought i could wait 3 days to die but i cant. im doing it tonight. i cant take this life anymore. its just too awful. no one cares. goodbye everyone, thanks for commenting on my other posts. bye.
I’ve come to a conclusion: I’m insane. I used to think that I was just unique, then again, my young, naive eyes sought for any and everything that would make things better.
Looking at some of the crap other people have gone through and comparing their situations to mine, I feel like an ass. I really should be grateful for my life, but instead, I’m here, desperately seeking someone, even someone who is quite possibly as unstable as I am, to give me a reason. Just one.
I guess I should just get to my privileged-child sob story. Where should I start? Ah, yes, […]
Too Broken
Too broken to be in this world again
A doll smashed into a million pieces of porcelain
They knew me before
They see glimpses today
They think I’m back
But I’m too broken
I’ve become one with death
Held his hand
Dreamt of his embrace
Blazing out all the pain
He let me close my eyes
To it forevermore
He let me Know it’s okay
I’m too broken now
I’ve felt death’s kiss
Tasted eternity on his lips
How can I come back now
To this world
When my broken heart wants rest?
Light shines in my window today
I can see it for the first time in weeks
Scabs curve over my open wounds
They threaten to heal my flesh
Music and voices and faces I […]
I need too really clear my  head of the thoughts of suicide that are running threw my head. I had a plan too go when I got home and the only reason I am staying here is because I am still in love with my ex boyfriend and he said he was coming too visit me and even though he hasn’t told me when I am still going too hold on until that happens I am sick of being in this unhappy relationship with the guy I am with now. with him I do not feel happy I feel very invisible and he does not […]
There’s no life with clean breaks
Or no chance we can’t take
Forgiveness lies too deep
To be vanished away
So flawless from the outside
Never trust a stranger
Farewell to our hearts
Remember the so-called desire
A brand new spirit destiny
Won’t let my mind play tricks on me
Closed chapters, opened curtains
To let myself be focused
Through coldest nights we found ourselves marching
Summer nights were meant to save us
And stop us from aching
I don’t need another tragic ending
No time for precious glorifying
What’s left in me will be better shortly
I learned too much, I’ve seen it all
Hi, I’m Destanie. I’m 15 years old. I turn 16 in May, but I don’t think I’m going to make it to see my birthday. Here’s why….
Back in June of 2012 i fell in love with this guy Tyler. He gave me the happiness I needed. He made me feel loved and wanted. We started dating but it only lasted about a week. For 3-4 months after that, I kept trying to tell him I still loved him. Finally he started talking to me again and I told him.. He told me he still loved me too and that he wants to make things right. […]
Hello, I’m Bane. I’ve tried to kill myself many times and I decided I wanted to come on here and Impart my story to you fine people. My story begins and ends in darkness, I was born in a prison called Pena dura located in the darkest of caribbeans Santa Prisca. I was forced to serve the life sentence for my snake of a father Edmund Dorrance AKA King Snake. I was raped many times, Raped by Injustice and darkness…and sometimes men, dark men. I had nobody, I had nothing. Except my bestfriend Osito. I loved Osito, I made love to Osito. Osito was not […]
ive decided its time. 3 more days just 3 more days till 2012 is over and 3 more days till i die. i have decided it is time and im going to die. i promised myself that next year i will commit suicide. no one wants to help me, no one understands my pain, physical and emotional. im better off dead. im just a worthless good for nothing person. dead but alive. inside dead and outside alive. i just have to survive 3 more days. i cannot carry on like this anymore and im taking action and leaving. what do you think ?
I have never spoken about this before but I feel that maybe people can use this as inspiration. Something has happened to me that will change my life forever.
I have lived with schizophrenia my whole life which has lead to insomnia, bipolar, depression, lack of confidence, loss of personality…the list goes on. At a young age, I landed myself in a mental health unit, dosed up on stupid amounts of anti-psychotics and sleeping tablets with little to no contact with the outside world. They wanted to keep me there for a long time, as a docile zombie, drugged up and staring at walls with no concept […]
I am surprised how I tricked myself. I guess this time my wish for death is greater than before, it is deep inside me even when I am not aware of it. recently I wrote a story about me giving myself one last chance to prove I am capable of life. I planned everything I want to achieve and do and I was trying to follow my plan. But some wicked part of me  kicked in and I began to sabotage myself. I made myself fuck up without being aware what I was doing. Now when I see it from distance, I see myself relying […]
1) Work up courage to kill self
2) Kill self
3)Â in the event of an afterlife see (3a,3b,3c) below, if not proceed to (4)
3a) if heaven, then find god and kick his/her/its ass for creating such a crappy world. Proceed to hell (3b)
3b) if hell, then kill self again. Repeat as necessary until the end of time (go to step 4)
3c) if reincarnation, same as 3b
4) In the event of nonexistence, congratulations you win