I’m not sure why I’m doing this. Maybe it’s just a final reach for help, I don’t know. But in everything I do, I keep failing. I’m failing school, my relationship to my family sucks. And all that’s my fault. It’s because of something I did. I know that if theres one thing I can succeed at it will be killing myself. I know I can do it. And I know how. I’ll just find some cyanide, that should do it. And I’m not going to talk to my parents, I’m not even going to threaten them that I’ll do this. They’ll probably just laugh and say that I will never do it. But I will. I’ll die Christmas Eve, I’ll go to sleep and I’ll never wake up.
9 comments
Don’t do it. You are propably over guilty about something. You need to seek help. Lots of people have felt like you do, it’s because you’re surrounded by other people who can’t or won’t understand you because they don’t see the pain you’re suffering from or have some other issues. If you need to talk to someone you can talk to me or find professional help, I go to therapy also. There is help reach and tell your story to me/professional therapeutic. If you post to this post again in need for my help, I’ll check this post so I can give you my email.
I would like your help, and one question- do you think a person can change and be like another person completely?
What happened with your family?
They act like I’m not one of them. Which I’m probably not, everyone else in my family is straight A’s and they don’t fail like I do. I’m sick of failing and my brothers even know that I fail a lot and they look down on me even though I’m older. And it’s all because of things I’ve done in the past and that I keep doing even though I try not to.
Yes you can, And you can forget yourself, email me: terskagroup@gmail.com so you have me/someone to talk to. Sorry for the delay because there were so many posts after yesterday that it took some time to find your post. Hope you can see this message.
It’s my email so don’t worry about the “group” part of the name.
And you can talk to me Anything you want, it takes always work to get through the pain but it will be worth it trust me.
if u want 100 % pure kcn ………mail me at nilesht65@yahoo.com
My son killed himself 1 1/2 years ago. He did not tell me before he did it. If he had given me the chance to talk to him, this is what I would have said: “I love you. When you were born, I saw a beautiful angel in the room who presented you to me and said ‘This is your son.'” You were the sweetest baby. I love you….I guess I’ve told you those things before. You already know I need you and love you. You already know your death would break my heart and torture my mind and soul. And that I’d so anything, change, if that would really make you stay on earth.
Most of what I would tell him, I couldn’t know until months or years later….Like, if you had stayed, sure, you would have seen Trump elected president (unfortunately)…but medical pot was legalized in FL which would make you happy. And, your brother said you would have loved the new episodes of that show you liked with Uncle Mortie or whoever. I go for walks by myself now. I miss you showing me the You Tube videos.Your step-father got cancer. I really needed you to help me take care of him. Your brother is doing OK. He misses you. He used to have a brother and now he is alone. I see the wildfires in California and I think you could have been there to help. I see the train derailment and think you could have been there to comfort those people. I know I’ll see you in heaven, Drew, but just know that right now I’m not OK. Sometimes I make myself go neutral so I don’t cry or feel the pain. The No. 1 thing I wish you knew is that IT WOULD HAVE GOTTEN BETTER…I know the things that bothered you and things did change. The world changed. I changed. Your brother changed. Our community changed. The economy changed, including the job market.
I am glad you visited me in my dream a few months ago, but you didn’t seem to understand that I’m still here and it hurts. God takes people when it’s their time. I can’t bring you back here but you were meant to be here on this side. The void, the hole, the missing piece… So to succeed at killing yourself. To “succeed” at leaving a void, a hole, a missing piece not just in your mother’s heart and soul but the world itself. The world changed in ways unknown. Because you “failed at school” and have “relationships that suck.”