for all the people that have helped me through alot,

ive been doing some thinking lately, which isnt really normal for me. im usually impulsive, which isnt good since its got me where im at today.

but i dont really think im suicidal, more like i just want to stop existing in this world. and the only way to escape it is to die. but i think i would still be the same way i am now, even if life had dealt me a different hand. i would always feel lonely, even if i was surrounded by people. i just feel like im different, everything im into or not into doesnt fit the fold. everything i say or do doesnt make the cut. idk. i just want to do so much to help people, but i cant do that if i cant help myself. my family is always telling me i dont feel or i dont have a heart, because i fail to engage with them on an emotional state, and i dont cry anymore. but it doesnt matter,

i do care and i do love, and there are some ppl that i can specify.

if you call out in the night, i WILL hear you

if you are lost in the dark, i WILL find you

if you lose hope, i will bring it back

we are a family

a broken divided group

trapped in a life we did not choose

separate at birth

but together at the end of our time

i love you lauren

i love you dead

i love you kali

i love you forever

i love you shannon

i love you puppet

i love you sander

i love you rogue

i love you deathwish

i love you smith

i love you orangish

i love you pepper

i love you weeping

i love you ford

i love you kimm

i love you dawn

i love you katie bear

i love you harry

i love you mali

i love you trixi

i love you tokey

i love you soup

and most of all i love all the time we spent together…