Erggghhh! Why the fuck am i still here?! I’m sorry but i need to get this out, and it won’t be the same if I dont swear.
Im going to admit this now, I’ve told No one this ever. But fuck it, let’s tell a bunch of strangers! I’ve been screwed up since birth. I was born witha type of arthritis in my joints, so walking, crawling, sports, all of it was painful. Eventually people noticed I wasnt like everyone else. I’ve been bullied ever since I entered those school gates. But i was too nice, and no innocent to accept people could be mean. They would group up and take the piss out of me, and I never fought back. I literally had no one. They all hated me…
I bet your thinking ehhhh it’s cool, her family helped. Well….nope. I have 4sisters and one brother. My only younger sister went to the same school as me, I was smart enough to pretend I didn’t know her. My older siblings did drugs, they drank. They would fight 24/7. Kicking and screaming the house down untill god knows at night. They tried to help me with the bullies, but they couldn’t help themselves. My mum tried leaving the family multiple times. To help us, but she ended up coming back each time. My perants tried their best, and I love them for it. No one does drugs anymore.
But it’s too late.
I’m a freak. Im now 15 years of age. And in a way…..I still get bullied. But no one notices it anymore. I’m no longer innocent and sweet. Im a ***** and lie allot, i sit away from everyone and only talk to the prople im freiends with. And I truly feel sorry for my friends….I’ve been contiplating killing myself for ages, but i have no way to do it. I see no point in staying here. None at all. You could claim my friends and family might miss me…they’ll forget soon enough, I’m allways hiding away anyways. And it’s one less mouth to fed eh? My friend has resently found this site and found me out, yup I had a small melt down when I found out, but we are still friends. I know she’s worried, but it’s okay, she a people person, she Will find a replacement soon enough.
I can’t get close to people, and im freaking out because she knows quotes a bit now. But she deleted the account so…..:) I don’t know why I do it, when someone gets close to me I freak and push then away, but then recover and it starts again. I cannot stand being in a croud anymore, I go wierd and have to move. Ahahaha, no to mention I think in loosing any sanity I might have. I lugh randomly, and say things that hurt others. Well yeah I did say I’m a freak. This is why I need to die, I might just find some gang shooting or something and jump in the middle. That way my family woul have to go around witha suiside under their belts.
sorry about the whole mess i know it’s been hard, but your only 15 things will change when you out on your own around mature people,you will do just fine but it’s tuff being a teenager. ride out the storm you will be happy! oh yeah quit liying “that doesn’t mean tell everyone your bussiness” and be the good person you are don’t let imature babies change you.
That’s what I hoped, that’s why I moved away from it all, but it didn’t work…but okay thank you, I’ll try to stop lying, but it’s become more of a habit than anything. Aha ok i will, thank you.
I know how you feel, the people who are usually bullied just brush it off and eventually advance in they’re careers later in life, trust me your disability won’t stop you later in life “YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TOO!”. But sometimes bullying can really effect you… and just dig deep within your heart. Things won’t always be the same… just hold on okay? when you are 16 just leave school, or you could always change schools… life was made for living, support your family!!! your not in my shoes, so everything should be peachy!
Okay, thank you, I’m planning on leaving asap anyways.but thanks for reading and helping