As hard as I tried to convince my dad that the woman I love so much isn’t some pedophile, he still wouldn’t believe me. He wouldn’t let me explain all of what I had to say. Here’s what my dad threatened to do. “If you send so much as one more message to her, I will send your psp, your phone, your mother’s laptop, your stepdad’s laptop, and my laptop into the police as evidence against that disgusting pedo so that the police will track their location down and arrest them. I am NOT F****** kidding, I will send you to juvy too if you try to contact her again, for your own f****** good.” I have sent another message to her, telling her if she contacts me again we’ll be arrested, and for those of you that are thinking that there’s no way I could go to juvy and my girlfriend to prison, we both can. It wasn’t the best idea, I definitely admit that, but we did email certain ‘explicit’ things to each other… My dad found that, and even if the woman I love so much really is a 17 year old who lives in California, she’ll be tried as an adult and if my dad finds out I sent another message to her, I WILL go to juvy. My best friend, my girlfriend, the one who’s been there for me, WILL go to prison where she could be beaten, raped, even killed, and I’d die inside even more than I have already if anything happened to her. I almost attempted suicide, but I stopped because I know that my girlfriend would have a heart attack if she found out I killed myself. So, I’ve been considering the idea of running away. I could travel the world, I could go see my girlfriend, I’d have freedom, I could get a job and make some money so I could buy myself a place to live away from my family where I’m miserable. That’s basically the whole reason why I’m writing this huge block of text because I don’t know whether I should stay in this fricking hellhole where I probably will eventually commit suicide, or if I should go stay with a friend for a few weeks, pack up my stuff, and leave the state for as long as possible.
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Wow. That’s incredible. I really hope things work out for the best.
Once, my mother found out the girl I was dating was bisexual, then she made a rule that “no bisexuals are allowed in the house”. Like she was a fucking animal. My mother hadn’t ever met or seen her, so she didn’t know anything about her other than one thing, but that was enough for her to decide that she hated her.
When I think about how shallow and bigoted she was, I really think I’m better off without her in my life.
But she texted me yesterday. First time I’ve heard from her in almost a year. Said she misses me and wants to see me again.
I might see her, but when I think about what she was like, I feel physically ill. Bad enough she was a shallow, narrow minded, racist bogan, worse that she was a control freak. For a whole year before I moved out, I had stopped introducing friends to her or telling her about my private life to prevent her from being judgemental or manipulative.
Even a couple months ago, when I was in hospital after a suicide attempt she rang up the hospital staff telling them the attempt was my dad’s fault. My dad, who visited me every day and apparently still cares about me. His fault.
So, I think I’ll see her this Saturday. But, if she says anything that suggests she’s the same person she was before, it will probably be the last time.
What I guess I’m saying is, things might be hard now. You’re still under the control of your parents, but one of these days, you’ll be free of them. You can chat with whoever you want, and see whoever you want. And if they don’t like it, it’s not your problem.
Until then, try to hang on. Hold out and don’t give up.
And the same stuff I wrote in the comments section on the first part goes to you too Engie!