You have no idea

Me and my friend are sitting in my room im putting on makeup like i always do…i put it on my scars though not my face. and she just sits there staring at me “what? why are you staring?” i ask her “It’s just, you say your depressed. but why are you depressed you have no reason you have the perfect life! I mean, your popular, your beautiful, the dance is like two months away and you already have 23 boys wanting to take you! why are you so depressed?” I think about it, and i know the answer but it sounds stupid even in my head. so i just reply ” I don’t know.”…
i just remembered that moment and i’ve decided i want to tell the answer. it’s going to sound way stupid and pathetic…but ok. so what she said was true i am popular, big time, but social status is’nt everything, and being what people call “popular” can actually cause dmotional stress. I mean you have to put up with EVERYONE! yeah yeah i know it wouldnt hurt to be a little mean and say no to people and not talk to them but it just is’nt in my nature. im nice, overly nice its like a good curse with a bad outcome sometimes. not to mention how everyone comes to me with problems about everything its like were in pre-k and someone says they’re gonna tell your mom only instead of pre-k its high school and instead of mom its me. okay so im releived to finally get that off my chest. but i really dont want to sound like a whiney stuck up *****…there are other reasons why im depressed, at home itq.s not a nice picture some of the scars i have are not from myself. and what would you feel like if among a lot of texts that are nice you get a lot of texts that are super mean telling you your a slut and that you should die. and how about if some of your closest friends came to you the day after you told them you were depressed with a noose and said for you to kill yourself…crappy right….yeah me too.