Dear X

So I was talking to someone the other day and she said that writing letters to people helped her get over her hatred and depression…so yea. I’m gonna write a few letters….
Some of them might be vicious, others may be gracious and kind…but we’ll see after I write them.

Dear Austin,

It’s been 8 months since we started dating.
Remember in the beginning, how it was so easy and carefree? We were on the top of the world. No one could stop us…but of course, they tried. When they told us we couldn’t be together, we did it anyway.
And now look at the trouble we’re in.
At first, it was easy to hide. And lie. And kiss. And touch.
But they kept putting up walls between us. So many walls, that we couldn’t break without them building up more. But we fought through it. And we kept fighting until they got tired of it.
Gradually the walls came crumbling down. They’re still falling.
But now our relationship is more physical than anything else. I need more than just sex.
I’m getting sick of sex.
I mean I love sex, but I’m sick of every touch turning into sex.
Sometimes, all I want is a hug.
I don’t want anything but a hug, because at that moment, that hug is more intimate than anything we could possibly do.
I want more than just a physical connection. I want a connection that can burn through any barrier. I want to tell you things about me that I can’t tell anyone else.
I want you to tell me your secrets, so I can love all of you…not just the things you let me see.
I want you to understand my cuts, and tell me I’m worth more than that… I don’t care about what they say, because their words don’t mean anything because I don’t love them. I care about what you say because I love you.
Sometimes I wonder if all the things I want from you are even possible right now. We’re both still so young.
And sometimes I think maybe I’m just too demanding. Maybe I’m stuck in some Disney movie where everyone comes out happy. Maybe it’s not as easy as it looks to fall in love with someone so completely.