Having an Outlet

I have no outlets to let my stress out or whatever negative thoughts I’m feeling about myself that day, what happens to me is I find distractions through: surfing the internet,watching TV,etc. and at some point everything feels like a distraction because you go to sleep with all those negative thoughts and you just bury them and the pain is still there and it and the next day the cycle repeats, and the days seem to be shorter and everything seems to be moving fast and you feel like you’re being left behind. I’ve read that with depression you lose interest in activities you once found pleasurable and I find that to be true for myself, I’ve tried numerous amount of times to get back into the swing of things and take on some activities and get rid of my depression but each attempt would only last for so long maybe a week, a day, or even an hour which frustrates me because I can’t put as much effort into things as I would like and that makes me feel sad because I feel like a nobody who can’t do anything no matter how much she tries also because I can’t express myself  I carry pain and it turns into frustration and there’s only so much you can keep in a bottle. I get inspired by so many things and get the urge to do them again but when I try to do them again I feel like what’s the point if I’m going to go through the cycle again.