How can you be so cold while burning?

I was thinking today. That was a mistake.

If I killed myself…

would you (my family and friend <– singular) care?
Nah, you hate me and ignore me anyways.

would anyone care?
No. People just naturally hate me.

Would anyone mind?
Maybe the city sanitation guys. I assume my body would just be thrown away.

Why am I still alive?

nothing good ever happens to me. everyone i know hates me. my friendships dont last. people quit (if they ever do start) understanding. i can't trust anymore.

im a purposeless mistake that no one wants.

How…

did i survive? i shouldnt have

could i be so cold while my body was on fire?

come i hear a man trying to sell me happiness? "Just $your life!" he says. is it really that cheap

is the darkness so warm and inviting?

Why am I still here? I just want to die. No one will help me if I ask, just leave. No one will befriend me if I trust, just try to kill me. What can I do? I don't care what I should do anymore, it has to stop. The pain has to stop.