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by clarity1987

When to Say When?

I been thinking……. when is there ever a time in a person’s life that they should say fuck it & give up on life & end it?

Is there ever a time to say: I’ve tried but it’s now time to stop feeling lonely, being rejected, stop taking one steps forward and two step back in everything in life and just pull the trigger.

I think I’m just not built for life ups & downs. Seriously



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catchthebus 1/15/2013 - 5:07 pm

Is it life’s ups and downs? Or something to do with bobbing on the waves like a cork, the body and spirit always flexible and floating, willing to accept constant change and not fight it. Those are the people I admire and haven’t a clue how they get there.

mjsd 1/15/2013 - 5:10 pm

We all take steps forward and then back. Unfortuantely life has ups and downs, and yes it is difficult for all of us to deal with it, but deal with it we must. You do not want to pul the trigger. Life will get better. I promise there will be better days. Everyone faces rejection and no one likes when it happens to them, but you have to move on and go on. There are people that care about you, and they would be devasted if anything happened to you. Be strong.

NothingAmI 1/16/2013 - 12:07 am

Clarity1987, I’d love to exchange ideas some time if you’re open to it. I was drawn to your post’s unique title. Was that your intent? I’m surprised you haven’t gotten far more comments.

I had been asking myself for many years the same question–when to say when? The closest I’ve come to an answer was in a comment here on SP (I can’t remember which comment, sorry). The author said that by middle age one has lived long enough to have a credible assessment of one’s own life (who else could?). By that reasoning, and it’s the answer I’ve adopted, waiting ’til middle age, if we can hold on that long–if the pain is bearable–seems a conservative answer. Mind you, I don’t think that’s the answer for everyone.

By the way, I know you’re serious. I, too, don’t feel built for life’s ups and downs. And no one else can TELL us how to feel. We’re the only ones, of course, who know just how exhausting the struggle is for US. I find it amazing that we don’t expect everyone to perform similar physical feats–because it’s obvious how different we are physically, but we expect people different in a myriad ways psychologically to perform similar emotional feats.

If you’d ever like to throw ideas back and forth, drop me a line. Peace–and thanks.

NothingAmI 1/16/2013 - 12:24 am

MJSD, sorry for inundating you with so many questions; we seem to be following many of the same posts today. To reiterate an earlier question, how does one “know” life will get better? The OP here has mentioned life’s ups and downs, so it seems safe to assume they know that the degree of suffering/pleasure/contentedness varies with time. Maybe it’s the frequency of downs or depth of downs they find untenable. How do you guarantee someone who feels this that the frequency or degree of pain will decrease, and how further do you guarantee that the decrease would be meaningful to the one experiencing the pain?

Again, I don’t mean to be an argumentative fop, but these issues are extremely critical to the decision-making process that some of us are engaging in deciding whether or not (and when) to exit life. You mentioned we “must deal with it,” and that “we have to move on and go on.” But the very premise of the self-determination argument is that we are all fundamentally free (able) to decide whether or not to continue living. Even if you think suicide is an unethical decision, that people commit suicide means we do not have to deal with “it,” and that we do not have to go on living.

Perhaps I’ve misread your assertions as statements of fact rather than exhortations. I’d enjoy chatting some time if you’re up for it.

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