melancholy

I have thought about death for most of my life. I just want to die. My parents never cared about what i wanted. All they cared about was our family’s name or reputation. As a kid i was always in my room studying, doing extra homework, tutoring or going to summer school even though my teachers insisted that i did not need all those because i was doing excellent in the class. My parents were almost never home but when they were they would scream at me or hit me if i didn’t know how to do a problem i never learned. They were never there for any important moments in my life. At social events my parents friend’s would talk about how great their kids are doing in school and all the awards and scholarships they received and all the languages they already learned. After the events my mom would yell at me some more. In middle school i did not go to the best school there was and my parents were very angry but, i met a lot of great people there. In high school they decided to send me to one of the toughest schools there is far away and attend classes with the most difficult teachers. My grades started dropping since i really hate that school and the teachers were crazy. My parents are planning to take away everything away from me. They know i am suicidal but, they don’t really care. When they take away everything i’m going to lose contact with one of my best friends who’s having a lot problems also and is almost close to death due to her weak body. i’m scared that she is going to die and she is the only reason i’m still living. i dont know what to do… so many people around me have already past away. i feel so alone.