My past and how I got stranded in my problems.

Boot777 asked me what my main problems are that cause my suicidal thoughts. I decided to make a post of it, so here it is. Well, there isn’t really one problem you can point at that causes the suicidal thoughts. Actually, there are a lot of things that cause them. I am not telling you all of them, because probably I’ll forget one or two and that’s going to be bored, so I’m going to tell the important one’s (I guess). I’ve been bullied from my fourth untill now. The worst part was at age of 11, 12 I guess. I was at elemntary school and my whole class turned against me. They were waiting for me after school to follow me home or to push me of bike or to beat me. It also happened at school, cheating at me, making calls of me (they call me things as ugly, fat, milk bottle and so on) , abuse at me, beat me and so on. The whole class was against me, I felt really small. At home I didn’t told my parents how bad it was, because I felt I had no right to talk about my problems, because my father is bipolar and I thought he needed the attention. They knew I was bullied, but not how worse it was. I told my teachers several times, showed them bruises of the beating, but they wouldn’t believe me. I’ve lost my faith and trust in people, and after elementary school my trust and faith in people I trusted also disappeared, because the people I trusted misused it. Besides that thing about bullied and not feeling home and stuff there is also another factor on school. When I went to secondary school, the advice was Gymnasium (not a place where you sport, in The Netherlands it’s a level on school based on how smart you are and this is most smart and you have Greek and Latin) because my Cito-score (a test to find out which level you have to do on secondary school) was 548 (highest is 550). So I went to first class, Gymnasium. But besides I got good notes, something went wrong. In the second class I stopped with Greek and Latin so I was in level VWO. Also in that class something went wrong, I got most of the time good notes like 7 or 8. At the end of third class I went to level HAVO (a step lower than VWO) but fourth class also didn’t got well. I did my best and I was interested and motivated, but for example English I got an 8 for a test, but also a 3. And I couldn’t finish everything on time. So I got stucked in that routine and it kind of totally went wrong. I also did an IQ-test and my score was about 127, so HAVO must be really easy for me, but it wasn’t. And till now I don’t know what it is. Soon I will get some new tests on things like ADD, ADHD, ASS and stuff. These are my main problems why I got stranded in a depression and stuff.
Boot777, I hope I answered you question good enough XD.