Today I was told I should committee suicide by a complete stranger who knows nothing about me… I really don’t know what to think nor what to feel.
January 2013
I have tried to commit suicide
3 times since November 2012
and failed. Â My next attempt will
be next week. Â i am going to try
a new but very difficult method
because it is said to be a sure thing
and painless. Â Choosing a date to
exit is so difficult because there
are people who still love me and
would be sad if I am gone. Â The date
always coincides with some date
that is special. Â Now the waiting and
summoning the energy to put
together everything that I need.
I sleep 15 + hours a day and can
hardly get enough energy to get
up and eat and shower. Â The only
thing that brings relief from the
constant emotional agony is sleep
and […]
II’ve been told by countless of people when life kicks you down, get the hell back up. Does it still apply to me? When I’ve been kicked down so many times? Every time I try to get up, life just decides to push me back down. And when I fall, I fall harder than I ever did before. Especially since yesterday. I lost all my friends, with three single words from one of my ex boyfriends. “She’s a slut”. It’s ok though, because this will be the last time I ever get kicked down again.
Weird request, I know…
I’ve come to the end of my road, and now the only thing holding me back is a legal matter that should be over in a few months. The day it’s settled I can and will end my life. The question is how to endure the next few months where I have literally no point in being alive but to waste time? I don’t have enough energy or money to do anything productive with my last few days. Each day is a losing battle with the pain, both physical & emotional. So like my title says, I think I’ll start doing drugs.
Can […]
I’m 20 years old, and I lost the remaining part of my future today. I will be a college dropout.
Bullied till I was 10, being about 16 was probably the best time of my life, but did not realise it and blew it.
Had tons of friends and potential girlfriends, but noticed it too late nor did I care.
The bullying left it”s scar, making it very hard for me to let somebody take a peek inside.
For now, I never had a girlfriend, never knew what true love was, until last year.
After growing some balls for months, I tried to start a conversation with […]
I have no friends. It’s a painful realization. Any friends that I had, that I considered to be true friends,( you know the kind that actually care about you, ask about you, help you, instead of those that expect you to do that for them but don’t return the favor) are at college now and at least 2 hours away. The “friend” that I’ve had for the longest, since the fifth grade, is too busy with community college and his girlfriend and weed to spend time with me. I smoked with him the other day, for the first time in 5 months. I had been […]
Hey everyone, although i blog on wordpress, I am new to this so just to say hi – going is faily tough at the moment. I hope to be a good friend to those of you who would like me to and yeah, just I am glad to be a part of a community which is not advocating suicide but providing support and comfort for those feeling lonely. Hope to post soon
I still need stories for help with my personal project. My project is to get the true meaning of suicide. To show its not a joke. Message me with any stories. Youre name is private and it stays between us. Please Help me with it.
Naiomyhernandez@gmail.com
Face it, friends want something. Whether it’s companionship, belonging, someone to talk to, someone to drive them home when they’re piss drunk, someone to borrow money from, someone to move furniture for free, or whatever, they want something. A successful friendship is based on a fair balance of giving & receiving these things. But some of us don’t want and don’t need any of those things. As a result we end up giving everything and receiving nothing. Friends serve no logical purpose. Oh but try going through life without friends and society labels you a freakshow, a misanthrope, a socially maladjusted head case. So every […]
I’ll lay here and cry myself to sleep.
Because I’m useless, worthless, pathetic, a waste of space.
I’ll cry because I cannot be what people expect of me and I can’t help people.
I can’t be smart and attend college.
I can’t help my best friend get through her days.
All I am here for is getting used, played, hurt, abandoned.
I mean, it’s okay because it’s only me. As long as everyone else is happy.
Me? I’m fine thanks. it was only 13 cuts and I made sure they weren’t deep… Much.
I’ll just lay here and cry a river. One to swim away in. […]
I’ve found the holy grail of suicide methods, as it is apparently called. Painless, quick, easy. Only hard part is of course that you can’t get hold of it anywhere in the developed world. But now I know where to get it and I’m going there in a month. I just don’t know if I can go through with it. I imagine how devastated my mother would be and it makes it extremely difficult.
I’ve thought about what I would leave in a message to her and I think it would be like this: She always said she wanted the best for me and the truth, […]
I use to have these feelings in my late teens, now a few years later they all just came right back in one day. granted they popped in my insane head a few days before but just briefly. Now its all I think about. Its all I think about that my “GF” keeps lieing to me, and being sneaky. Everytime I confront her about it she TRIES to turn it around on me. I cant it anymore. Trust me, thers more problems going on with me that lil bit**. But she’s the icing on the cake. I just want to WHACK myself like the […]
im dead now
I am stuck, and there seems to be no one to help me. I don’t know if I should take up Accounting or Management as my major. Accounting is too narrow, while Management is too broad. Seems like the university I’m entering is in the dumps.
That’s it, I have no future.
Everything is ruined.
No one is there to help me…
Choices, choices…
I want to give tuitions but I don’t have the place… my house is a mess…
I’m devastated…
It’s a fight for me not to revert back to the “I want to die” thoughts…
The majority of the posts that I have read are from people in High School. I get it high school is rough. Other students are mean. And you feel Your teachers, parents and family don’t understand you. I was there too at one point in my life. I am hoping that by sharing my story I can give others hope for a better out-look on life. Now before I continue with my story I need to say that I have thought about killing myself, I thought about pain less ways and painful ways. I also thought of ways to make it seem like an accident. But […]
Once anyone gets to know me they don’t want anything to do with me anymore.
I’m 13. I am severely depressed. Have been since kindergarten. No joke. I fake smiles every day so no one will realize what’s going on inside my head. I have 1 thing keeping me alive right now. His name is Monte and he is my boyfriend. I love him so much. And I owe him everything. If not for him I would be dead or constantly cutting. I have cut three times, times but they weren’t deep. I just recovered from two eating disorders. Anorexia and bulimia. I’m on medication for anxiety and depression. But all I want to do is take the whole bottle […]
I was thinking today. That was a mistake.
If I killed myself…
would you (my family and friend <– singular) care?
Nah, you hate me and ignore me anyways.
would anyone care?
No. People just naturally hate me.
Would anyone mind?
Maybe the city sanitation guys. I assume my body would just be thrown away.
Why am I still alive?
nothing good ever happens to me. everyone i know hates me. my friendships dont last. people quit (if they ever do start) understanding. i can't trust anymore.
im a purposeless mistake that no one wants.
How…
did i survive? i shouldnt have
could i be so cold while my body was on fire?
come i hear […]