I just can’t do anything right. My life is just one big downward spiral right now.
I made myself sick today just because I didn’t want to go to school and face my debate squad because I don’t have the work I’m supposed to have done done. Debate has just added a level of stress in my life I don’t need and I can’t quit because I made a commitment to it. It’s ruining me though.
It doesn’t help that I can’t talk to my girlfriend about this. She lives in a different state so I can’t ask her to come over and talk, and I haven’t been able to get in touch with her in almost two weeks. I miss her like crazy. She’s one of the only people I can talk to about things like this.
And on top of all that the weight of having two houses is getting really bad. There are so many fights that have happened between my mom and I that my dad doesn’t know about, and so many times I’ve just wanted to scream at my dad that my mom has no idea happened.
Everything sounds really small and petty, and if this wasn’t all happening at once I could probably handle it, but once it’s all put together it’s unbareable.
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I’m also in debate. In contrast, I enjoy debate. However, I can empathise. I’ve come to the undeniable conclusion that debater’s are some of the cruelest, self-centered, unmeerciless, most cut-throat people you could ever meet. You may try to hang out with other people the majority of your time. Average social interaction could counteract the nasty feelings one gets when spending time with debater’s. This worked for me to an extent. I am afraid I can only feel sorrow for your living situation, I’ve never been through anything that traumatic but I do hope it works out in the end for you.